(Series 8, Ep. 18) Thanks to the goal-scoring skills of star player Kacey Barry, Waterloo Road were in the final of the Unspecified Cup. Hurrah! But the problem was, FA rules (or some official rules somewhere) stated that girls couldn’t play in boys’ teams once they were over 15, in case they broke a nail or terrorised the boys with a mascara wand.
These things were not likely to be a problem with Kacey Barry – a less girly-girl you couldn’t wish to meet. But it went further than that – Kacey actually feels that she is a boy, with an unfortunately female body. So she was gutted to hear she wouldn’t be playing in the cup final. Tom Clarkson was gutted, as well. He knew the team had no chance of winning without Kaycey. His team just didn’t have what Alan Hansen would call “strength in depth.” Being a man (or woman) down, they even had to resort to Connor – who’d never played anything more physical than mah jong in his life – going in goal.
There was only one thing for it. Kaycey would play and everyone would pretend she was a boy and everything would be lovely, and Michael Byrne would forget to be angry with Tom Clarkson because he’d be so thrilled that Waterloo Road had actually won something. It would have worked, too, if a girl Kaycey had befriended earlier hadn’t kissed her on the lips when she scored the winning goal. This kind of behaviour is not the sort of thing that Barry Barry wants to see happening with his sisters, and he he said so. Loudly. There were gasps of horror, Tom Clarkson got suspended and Waterloo Road are going to be stripped of their win – though Tom Clarkson told Michael Byrne he’d let them enjoy the victory for a while before he told them.
Meanwhile, Barry and his younger sister were having a heart-to-heart, Barry-style, about her gender issues. This involved Kaycey saying she’d always felt like a boy and Barry attempting to change her mind by covering her in makeup in a locked classroom. This was a really shocking and disturbing scene, not least because Barry is no Francois Nars with the blusher brush.
I’m a bit worried about Barry, actually. He seems to be slipping from cheeky bad boy to sinister bad boy, and I don’t like it. Last week he seemed to be developing a bit of a crush on The Radiant Sian (and who can blame him?). This week they had a bit of a show-down and he was rather scary. At the end of the episode he followed her home and stood outside looking threatening. This is not what I want from Barry, who I think needs to occupy more the Finn Sharkey end of the Finn Sharkey/Kyle Stack continuum.
While all this was going on, Connor and Emo Imogen started and ended the episode smiling – honestly, they did. In the middle they had a falling-out because she wouldn’t wear her engagement ring in public. She made it up to him by fashioning an amulet for him, made of the congealed tears of baby dragons and the fingernails of ancient shepherds. Scout helped. Connor loved it. And they even had time to do some matchmaking between Jane Beale and Michael Byrne, because miserable people in love always want other miserable people to be in love too.
Posted by PLA (more Waterloo Road here)