I know what Andrew Stone smells like. Sadly I can’t claim to have been within close sniffing range of the pop sensation. But he showed us what perfume he uses, and it’s Paco Rabanne 1 Million – the same one my dad got for Christmas. So I can confidently say that Andrew Stone smells like my dad, which is possibly a disturbing thought for all concerned.
This little piece of product placement (he uses Elnette hairspray as well, but who the heck doesn’t?) featured in a scene where Andrew was dolling himself up for a date. With a girl. She’d won him in a “meet Andrew Stone” competition, but even with that head start, it seemed that Andrew finds it difficult to relate to the ladies. If only they would all stop thinking he was gay, he might be in with a chance.
Meanwhile, we were introduced to the most bizarre, deluded and disturbing dance act since Ann Widdecombe. Black Lad is “the UK’s pre-eminent dancing horse.” And a big lad, he is too. His owner, Patsy, claims he’s “as sexy as Justin Timberlake,” which might be less disturbing if Black Lad wasn’t quite obviously hung like a horse.
His act involves walking about a bit while co-dancers Rachael and Kaylee, who are human but not particularly good at dancing, gyrate around him dressed as Cheryl Cole. There are also two people who may be children or just very short adults, wearing hats that look like they’ve been nicked from a passing Salvation Army band, who gyrate slightly further away from the horse. It’s not good, frankly, and things get worse when they turn up to a gig at an agricultural show. Black Lad doesn’t enjoy the rain and howling wind which has removed most of the adjacent marquees and practically all of the spectators. A commentator, cosily ensconced in a little caravan sums up the experience. “Oh, that’s disappointing,” he says.
Posted by PLA (more Pineapple-flavoured posts here)