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Casualty: Zax the way I like it

(Series 32, ep. 20 by Matthew Barry and Kelly Jones 13.1.18) If there was one thing that was going to tempt me back to Casualty after not watching it for I don’t know how long, it was the promise of seeing Dr Zoe Hanna again.

And there she was in all her magnificence, scrunching a ciggie out with her unfeasibly high, unfeasibly pointy shoe and slathering herself in Chanel No. 5. Max smelled her before he saw her – the cigarettes and Chanel combo that he knows and loves.

But did he love it, or even love her? He made every effort during the episode to pretend he didn’t, and even went so far as to lend her a pen so she could sign their divorce papers.  Continue reading

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Casualty: The unforgettable Dr Zoe Hanna

zoe casualty(Series 30, ep. 34) I can’t even start to describe how much I’m going to miss Dr Zoe Hanna. She’s been my favourite Casualty character for as long as I remember, and not usually because of her medical skills (though she was brilliant at her job).

It’s Zoe’s sometimes questionable life choices that we’ll remember her for – staying up all night partying and getting involved with unsuitable men, waking up with a hangover and sucking the life out of a ciggie in the hospital car park while she suffered flashbacks of what might have happened the night before. It was her default setting and one she reverted to whenever life threatened to get too settled and sensible.  Continue reading

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Casualty: The one with the spider(s)

zoe max casualty(Series 30, ep. 33) For one reason and another it’s been quite a few weeks since I watched Casualty. I don’t know whether the fact that I picked up the thread fairly easily means that not much has been happening, or just that this episode happened to focus on things I already knew about.

It was all neatly encapsulated by Max: “Some poor woman’s pinned up against a wall and a massive spider’s bitten a lorry driver.” “Only in Holby,” said Zoe.  Continue reading

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Casualty: Stop the plane, I want to get off

sam strachan casualty(Series 30, ep. 24) My opinion about Sam Strachan has completely changed from last week, when I described him as an “arrogant twonk.” The phrase I would use now is “complete tit.” Whereas Jacob Masters has now achieved the status of The World’s Most Perfect Boyfriend, if you ignore the fact that he calls Connie “sweet cheeks.”  Continue reading

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Casualty: Good genes?

connie jac casualty(Series 30, ep. 23) I was never really a fan of Sam Strachan when he was on Holby. To me he was just the junior heart surgeon who wasn’t Joseph Byrne, and very much a character I could take or leave.

Connie Beauchamp was quite fond of him at one stage, though, enough for him to be the father of her daughter Grace. This episode saw Sam’s girlfriend being rushed to Holby A&E in need of emergency life-saving surgery. Grace was with her, and Sam wasn’t far behind. Time hasn’t improved him – in fact, quite the reverse. He’s now an arrogant twonk, even allowing for the fact that he was worried about his girlfriend. In fact he was so horrible that Jacob Masters began to look so much more appealing in comparison. Connie told Jacob that Sam had excellent genes, which only goes to show that Connie has very poor taste.  Continue reading

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Casualty: A gin-in-a-tin kind of day

connie hanssen casualty(Series 30, ep. 19) The Mythical St James’s called a black alert, which meant they were swamped with the kind of patients who don’t have an interesting back-story and are therefore of no use at Holby. The mythical doors were firmly closed to all accidents and emergencies, so everyone was routed to Holby City Hospital instead. Despite going almost code black themselves, Holby are made of sterner stuff than St James’s (obvs) and it wasn’t long before Lofty was proving his promotional credentials by helping to set up and run a big triage tent in the car park.

The triage tent was Connie’s idea, and she had to push it past Henrik Hanssen, who was in the department to add his own blend of glamour and terror to Lofty’s interview and the rest of the proceedings.  Continue reading

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Casualty: Dr Pinky Hair less perky

alicia casualty(Series 30, ep.11) Is this the last we’ll be seeing of Dr Perky Pinky Hair? Was she only temporary? I ask this because at the end of last night’s episode she was emailing her resignation to Connie. Emailing! Time was when only a proper paper letter in a proper paper envelope would do, but these are the times we’re living in.

The reason for her resignation was that she felt she’d been bullied by Dr Lily Chao. Well, I know Dr Chao can be a bit of a Cao, but compared to Jac Naylor she’s a pussycat. Plus she has mitigating circumstances in the form of grieving about her late father and trying to choose a nice headstone for his grave.

Alicia demonstrated her brilliance at doctoring (nice work with the improvised chest drain in the back of a van while an angry vengeful man is trying to bash his way in to finish the job he started), but the thing that annoys Lily is that Alicia also feels the need to demonstrate her tip-top people skills regularly, rather than sticking to the job at hand. I can see her point, really. The doctors should get on with the doctoring and leave the touchy-feely stuff to Lofty.

noel jacob casualtyMeanwhile, Jacob received a letter containing the name of the police officer who shot him. Rather than an email, this one was a proper paper letter in a proper paper envelope. This was so Connie could catch him about to open it and persuade him that to do so would have career- and liberty-threatening consequences. I like it when Connie gets all cross and talks through her front teeth while her back teeth remain firmly clenched. You know she means business, and it makes a change from going all simpery and silly whenever Jacob is in view.

And Dr Zoe Hanna decided that Max really wasn’t going to change his mind about being Mr Zoe Hanna, and took her wedding ring off. She didn’t throw it into a nearby bin like Jacob did with his letter, though, so there’s hope.

Next time: Cal “faces every parent’s nightmare.” Back to back episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine! (Or is that just me?).

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Casualty: Lucky for some

dylan zoe casualty(Series 30, ep.6) Only Casualty can make a park look dangerous. As we saw Dylan walking through this community leisure facility, there were threats everywhere – people playing baseball, a model plane – massive potential for injuries from both of these. There was even a woman talking to a magpie. “One for sorrow,” she informed Dylan. As she turned away, behind her the model plane knocked the magpie off its perch and the woman walked into a tree. Who knew that a tree could be the most dangerous thing in a park?

So this woman, Florence (Victoria Bush off of Waterloo Road) ended up in the hospital with a massive nosebleed. This meant I had to watch large parts of this episode between my fingers, because nosebleeds are a thing I just can’t cope with, even if they’re just pretend.  Continue reading

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Casualty: The beating heart of the hospital

charlie casualty(Series 30, ep.1 & 2) Wow. Talk about emotional rollercoaster. Leading directly on from last week’s (literally) explosive wedding episodes, series 30 kicked off in dramatic style. Who better to save the life of Dr Zoe Hanna/Walker than Charlie Fairhead? After all, he’s the heart and soul of Holby A&E, as someone pointed out during the episode. He’s been in Casualty since day one, his eyes failing to focus on anything in particular but his attention always firmly on the task in hand. He’s stalwart, dependable, loveable Charlie.

So when he went down with a heart attack not long after his brave rescue of Zoe, it was tense. And upsetting. The entire regular cast threw themselves into the proceedings and were completely believable as they struggled with the apparently imminent loss of their beloved mentor, confidante and friend.  Continue reading

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Casualty: The wedding goes with a bang. And a splash

max zoe casualty(Series 29, ep.46) Soap weddings are never uneventful – that would be a major waste of a plot opportunity. Even worse, they usually end in some kind of tragedy. So when Max and Zoe decided to get married, I had mixed feelings. She’s my favourite Casualty character and he’s the prettiest man in the hospital, so on paper it’s all good, but knowing it would turn out to be some kind of bad wasn’t good. If you see what I mean.

max casualtyIn a nod to her bad girl days, Zoe ended her hen night by sleeping with a random stranger. Despite Max being the most sensible, kindest and loveliest person in the world (as well as the prettiest), Zoe was having second thoughts. She almost didn’t go through with the wedding, but Max persuaded her that the fag breaks and the Curlie Wurlies were too good to give up. The wedding was low key, but the reception was a big do in a marquee. In hindsight they should have perhaps chosen a less flammable venue, like the pub across the road or Rodolfo’s.

A careless word by Dylan (reunited with Dervla but now officially diagnosed with OCD) alerted Max to Zoe’s hen night infidelity, and there were tears. Zoe ended up on Dylan’s boat asking him to steer off to Anywhere But Here.

zoe casualtyBack at the marquee, a fight broke out between Max and Charlie’s waste of skin son Louis, a patio heater went over, and there was a fire. Zoe saw the flames from the boat and asked Dylan to steer back to shore, but a bit of burning debris also set fire to the boat. Dylan couldn’t put the fire out and said they’d better swim. Zoe didn’t consider what a wet bridal gown might weigh, and jumped into the murky waters of the River Wyvern (I’m just guessing that bit). When last seen, she was treading water – but will she be able to stay afloat? Will Max rescue her? Where was Dervla? And would everyone back at the marquee be alright?

So many questions, hopefully to be answered next weekend, which is also a two parter.

In other news, it turns out that Louise used to be a nurse. And Dr Lily Chao is apparently mutating into Connie Beauchamp.

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