Tag Archives: steven cole

Young Apprentice: It’s for putting candles in

(Series 3, Ep.3) Although I’m tempted to shake my head sorrowfully at the woeful state of the British education system – imagine not knowing what a candelabrum is! Imagine not being able to even pronounce “candelabrum”! – I’m not going to. Ok, I suppose passing acquaintance with literature other than Harry Potter and Back-Stabbing for Dummies might have given the candidates a clue, but in the real world they’d have been on Google and found the answer in less than ten seconds.

Nevertheless, steam-powered technology (maps, Yellow Pages) was what they had to rely on, as well as initiative, teamwork and leadership. Sadly, the last three elements were not quite equal to the task. This week’s Moody Young Madam award went to Amy, who kept breaking off her conversation on the phone to yell at David to stop interrupting her. Even when he wasn’t interrupting her. Was this a cunning move on Amy’s part to position David as the bad guy, or are her nerves really on a knife-edge?

When their team lost, team leader Steven brought the warring factions back into the boardroom, hoping that either the two of them would self-combust, or the Baron would tire of David’s repeat appearances and fire him. David comes across as fairly sweet – he always looks like he’s about to smile, apart from when he’s actually smiling  – but his only strategy for dealing with people (get a member of the opposite sex to flirt with them) is not going to get him much further. Further than Amy, though, as she was at the receiving end of the Baron’s pointy finger and was fired. “You haven’t heard the last of me,” she vowed. Original. And, I’m almost certain, inaccurate.

Meanwhile, the winning team were lucky to scrape the win (although they at least knew what a candelabrum was and managed to buy one. And a car). Andrew must have been weak with relief, because he’d certainly have been right in the firing line in the boardroom. In previous weeks I’ve been quite impressed by Andrew, who seems like a sensible sort. As soon as he became project manager, his eyes acquired a haunted, fearful look and he never really got a grip on proceedings. Motor-mouth Maria was a bundle of righteous indignation throughout the episode, and made sure she got everyone primed to throw Andrew to the Baron if they lost. They didn’t lose, and got sent to Hamleys to play with some toys as a prize.

Next time: The candidates have to organise a tea party. Absolutely no scope at all for anything to go wrong there.

Posted by PLA          (all our Apprentice reviews here)

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Young Apprentice: Cookery book task

(Series 3, Ep.2) I’m going to find it hard to be too critical of the participants in Young Apprentice, because I’m mindful that they’re only a tiny tad older than PLA Jr and, without wanting to sound patronising (and probably failing), a lot of their mistakes are down to them just being young. Nevertheless, they’ve put themselves forward for what we must call “the process,” and they’re not short of self belief, so I doubt they’d be devastated by anything I’ve got to say anyway.

This week, Baron Alan wanted the teams to produce cookery books, and the usual statistics were trotted out about it being a multi-billion pound industry blah blah. The Baron took his big wooden spoon out to mix up the teams, sending Maria, a girl, into the boys’ team, and replacing her with Steven, a boy.

Maria had clearly been on the receiving end of a motivational speech or two about women having to work hard to make their voices heard in the workplace, and she decided from the outset that the way to do this was to shout louder than all the boys working together. If any of them dared to make a squeaking sound of objection, she smartly told them that, as a woman, She Must Be Heard. Despite this, the poisoned chalice of being the Project Manager fell to Sean, with his “dragged through a fashionable hedge – forwards” hairstyle (as Chris Ramsey described his own hair in the marvellous Hebburn).   Continue reading

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