The moment Tyrone approached her in the quietest nightclub in the country and she eagerly got her claws into him, I knew there was something not right with Kirsty. She follows all of the Street’s regular rules for being an established psychopath and I can guarantee that within six months from now, she will be driving her cop car into a canal with Tyrone and Tina tied up inside or she’ll be blowing up the garage.
How do I know this? Well, just take a look at the quirks and rules followed by previous Street fruitcakes and see how many boxes loopy Kirsty ticks…
Corrie Psycho Rule Number One: Develop an inexpicably over the top obsession in a somewhat bland love interest. Let’s face it, despite his adorable, teddy bear-esque nature, Tyrone is no oil painting. He’s not really even a Crayola Wax crayon scrawl. Sure, there are many women who would love to give him a hug and tell him that there is someone out there for him, but not many would be willing to actually BE that woman. Well, Kirsty isn’t just being that woman, she’s excelling to the point where she wants to spend 24 hours of each and every day in his company. Maria and Molly couldn’t even cope with evenings in front of the box with him! So is Kirsty besotted and sees a side in the bumbling mechanic that no one else does or is she several tangerines short of a fruit basket? Continue reading
Veteran Corrie viewers will remember a time when the dashing Richard Hillman (or as his long suffering missus Gail called him as a pet name: ‘Norman Bates with a Briefcase’) prowled the cobbles sniffing out one victim after another. As he deliberated over whether to club the local pensioner with a spade or a crowbar, there was somebody who was on his case all along.
Audrey Roberts (with a little help from her friends Norris and Archie) can suss anyone out a mile off. When Maria started melting towards the next dashing killer Tony Gordon, Audrey warned the lass off. Audrey knows. So why won’t Gail listen to her!?
She’s always right about her men and this time is no different. All along Audrey has had a bad feeling about Joe. I don’t know if the public smashing up of a clinic to get at prescription drugs was a telltale sign, but Audrey had his card marked ever since. And the warnings began. And Gail didn’t listen.
Joe got into debt. Joe bought a boat despite said debt. Joe concocted a web of lies. Joe got embroiled in the shady world of loan sharks. Joe had a violent outburst at Gail in the middle of the Street. Joe concocted a plan to fake his own death. Joe threw Gail off of his boat when she tried to stop him and then he sailed off into distance.
And still, STILL Gail stands by him. David, while not the most stable of men himself, was spot on tonight in calling his mother a fool.
No word from Joe for a week, loan shark threatening Tina and Audrey loyally trying to make her daughter see sense and we end another episode with Gail sitting saying she has to stand by Joe as he’s a good man.
“You do this everytime!” cried a frustrated Audrey.
You’ve brought all this on yourself Gail! You should have listened to your mother…
Posted by Our Man in the North (see all Coronation Street posts)