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Coronation Street: Krazy Kirsty?

The moment Tyrone approached her in the quietest nightclub in the country and she eagerly got her claws into him, I knew there was something not right with Kirsty. She follows all of the Street’s regular rules for being an established psychopath and I can guarantee that within six months from now, she will be driving her cop car into a canal with Tyrone and Tina tied up inside or she’ll be blowing up the garage.

How do I know this? Well, just take a look at the quirks and rules followed by previous Street fruitcakes and see how many boxes loopy Kirsty ticks…

Corrie Psycho Rule Number One: Develop an inexpicably over the top obsession in a somewhat bland love interest. Let’s face it, despite his adorable, teddy bear-esque nature, Tyrone is no oil painting. He’s not really even a Crayola Wax crayon scrawl. Sure, there are many women who would love to give him a hug and tell him that there is someone out there for him, but not many would be willing to actually BE that woman. Well, Kirsty isn’t just being that woman, she’s excelling to the point where she wants to spend 24 hours of each and every day in his company. Maria and Molly couldn’t even cope with evenings in front of the box with him! So is Kirsty besotted and sees a side in the bumbling mechanic that no one else does or is she several tangerines short of a fruit basket? Continue reading

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Coronation Street: A fitting tribute

Normally, it would be classed as a bit disrespectful to have an episode dedicated to the memory of a late star spliced with outrageous comedy scenarios involving a batty middle aged woman holding a pensioner hostage in a derelict cottage.

But something about last night’s double episode of Corrie, where the sad news we all knew must come was delivered, felt completely appropriate. Imagine Blanche’s gleeful face if she knew what Norris was having to endure at the hands of the hilariously doolally Mary. Imagine the cutting remarks she would pass when she bumped into him. I think that Blanche would have LOVED the events that were going on in the episode.

I have been loving this brilliant parody storyline and can see Mary being the making of a Corrie classic. It’s totally over the top, it’s bonkers…it’s Corrie like Corrie should be. I hope Mary sticks around for a long time to come. But of course, no matter how brillaint this material was, this was still Blanche’s episode.

Corrie won’t be the same without meddlesome Blanche and her scathing remarks but they did her real justice last night. June Whitfield played her bizarre friend May brilliantly and I loved her descriptions of Blanche being a lovely kind woman who called her daughter ‘DeeDee’ Something tells me that the clever writers on Corrie did this to do a sneaky tribute to Maggie Jones at the same time. The way I took the dialogue wasn’t that May was an idiot who didn’t really know Blanche…but that Blanche was a different woman in Portugal…a woman more like Maggie.

The tributes were not overdone, the tone of the episode was just right. They’ve done Blanche and Maggie proud with this one.

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Coronation Street: Simply The Best

Coronation Street is not every person’s cup of tea but, what struck me when watching an extremely uneventful episode last night, is that it’s probably the only show which I can still enjoy even though literally nothing happens.

Corrie pulls off the risky formula of simplicity is best. Soaps tend to be over the top, unrealistic and hectic (Corrie included, if you look at the ongoing Tony saga) but sometimes it’s just as enjoyable to watch the characters you know and love just going about their normal lives, without sleeping with eachothers’ friends/relatives/pets or stabbing eachother when they bring you the wrong flavour of crisps.

Take last night. What exactly happened? There were no major storylines, no window shaking showdowns, no punch ups, no sordid bunk ups. Audrey went to a party with Rula Lenska to find Rita cosying up to the same man she likes (and by cosying up, I mean sharing a drink and fluttering one’s eyelashes, this is no passionate, every-position affair) Becky asked a friend’s advice on adoption. Rosie searched Ebay for a tracksuit. Graeme wound Norris up a little bit, for a laugh. A chocolate egg went missing.

That was it. As always, with Corrie, the episode was character and dialogue driven instead of plot driven. It’s the little things that matter when it comes to Coronation Street. It’s an institution, people all over the country know these characters better than their own neighbours so when the team of marvellous writers pen a witty line and the character delivers it you can sit there and say ‘oh that is so typical of Liz!’ (Don’t say it out loud if there are others in the room).

That’s the beauty of Corrie. In an episode where Audrey and Rita sniped cattily at each other, Norris’ hunt for gossip over a chocolate egg was fruitless and Hayley was just being lovely Hayley, nothing needs to happen. You’re just spending half an hour with some characters you know.

Posted By Our Man In The North

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Coronation Street: Norris Cole’s mini-me

norris-horace-coronation-stLast night’s Corrie was absolutely hilarious (excellent work as always from Jonathan Harvey and Damon Rochefort), mainly thanks to Norris Cole’s new assistant at the Kabin, Horace. These two are virtually doppelgangers – they look alike, talk alike, and even drink tea alike. “There’s two of them! This happened on a Doctor Who!” little Simon Barlow pointed out. Horace’s reaction to the world’s most charming five year old was, “It’s yobs like him that are destroying the very fabric of this country!”

Of course Norris, a man with spectacularly little self insight, is going to have no idea at all that Horace is basically a slightly exaggerated version of himself, but it won’t be long before he shows him the door. I’m only guessing, because I don’t read spoilers, but I bet the minute Rita’s feet hit British soil after her cruise, Norris will be begging her to get back behind the counter where she belongs.

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