Tag Archives: Michael Winner

Time Shift: Dear Censor ‘unbridled hooliganism and reckless driving’

Calm down dear, it's only Michael Winner with a large boom in his pocket

I love BBC4, I stumble across such delights there, and the Time Shift series is a gift that keeps giving. This week it was about the British Board of Film Classification and the way they have navigated over the decades the difficult path of classification vs censorship with taboo-challenging films. Some of these were far more serious than others of course, and the less appealing sections included a gleeful Michael Winner talking about the soft porn drivel he produced under the guise of representing ‘naturism’, in the form of Some Like it Cool (1961). Continue reading

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Filed under Documentaries

Michael Winner’s Dining Stars: give the man a happy ending and all will be well

My ancient portable TV seemed to be having problems with its vertical hold last night, a problem I only dimly remember from the 1970s. All that pointless twiddling of knobs.

And talking of knobs, as a consequence of this televisual dysfunction, and the fact that I was too bone-idle to do anything about it, I ended up watching Michael Winner’s Dining Stars. Again. It’s a pretty lousy format, featuring someone some consider a cartoon fool on two legs . No excuse I know, but knowing all of this, a tiny part of me enjoyed it. Why? Because Winner appears to be such a transparently inconsistent, insecure, vain twerp with not one iota of self-awareness, that’s why. And members of the public that put themselves up for being judged by him deserve all they get. If they, as seems to be the case, are genuinely expecting praise for their food and a pat on the back for their efforts, then they’ve not really been paying attention in life. People tend to be consistent. And to Winner’s credit, at no point in his career has he appeared to be be anything other than a gigantic horse’s ass.

What become utterly clear in last night’s episode is that Winner doesn’t seem to care very much about the quality of the food, and his judging ‘system’ falls down completely when you look at the judgements he makes. He went to two dinner parties. One was in Essex, with Peter, a man who cooked truly inedible food but had two attractive blonde female friends stroking Winner’s ego all evening. The other one was in Scotland featuring the upper class Charmion, whose cooking was vastly more skilled, but whose friends brayed drunkenly at each other and signally failed to fawn at Winner. Essex man got a star, Charmion went away insulted and star-less.

So if this is actually a show about making an emotionally inadequate, misogynist feel special and loved-up, contestants would be best advised to toss any idea of cooking out the window, order in a  takeaway, put some flattering photo-shopped posters of Winner around the joint and buy in some sex workers. It seems as if he could be given a bag of crisps so long as he is told how marvellous he is, perhaps followed by a happy ending, the host might even end up with three stars.

But why anyone would want them, I have no idea.

Posted by Inkface


Filed under Cooking shows

Twatbox: Michael Winner. The Emperor’s New Napkin

I was going to blog about Winner’s Dining Stars, but I found the whole programme, and particularly Michael Winner, to be so bloody annoying, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Where do we start with the man? Why I imagined this programme might provide light entertainment I cannot imagine. I can’t bring myself to even laugh at his preposterously over-inflated view of himself as an ‘expert’ on all things culinary. There are people whose opinions I will trust when it comes to food. Monica and Michel Roux Jr after seeing them on MasterChef for example. They know their stuff.

What does this odious, Mr Toad of a man know about anything? His career has included making terrible films and crass adverts. He seems to be very wealthy, which is all well and good, but hardly proves he had any talent for anything other than getting rich. He has failed to commit to any woman in his long life until now, after he’s had major heart surgery, which would not endear him to my heart one bit.

I don’t understand the premise behind Dining Stars or why anyone would be fool enough to invite this pompous ass into their house so that they can end up being thoroughly insulted in front of their family in really weirdly inappropriate cinema setting.

He ended up in tears facing a woman (about whom he’d been incredibly rude) who had lost ten stone but who had a child with learning disabilities and one with a serious heart condition. Her food (other than some brownies) was pretty average, but her story, and the warmth of the family, led to him crying, so he seemed to give her a pity ‘star’. Pitiful more like. I won’t be tuning in again.

Posted by Inkface

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