Anyone who was expecting X Factor loser Jake Quickenden to make a pig’s ear of last night’s live trial was proven badly wrong. Instead, he made a pig’s testicle of it which was exactly what he’d been asked to do. It didn’t matter that he had to orally transfer the bollocks of several swine between containers; Jake was just happy that for once the public had voted for him. If only they had done that during The X Factor.
As if giving him a 24 hour Text Santa broadcast marathon wasn’t enough for the demure ego of Philip Schofield, ITV paid homage to his gameshow, The Cube in the live trial. They already had an extra set of ad breaks ready for if Kendra Wilkinson was voted to take part, given that it would have lasted all of 30 seconds (aka the time it takes her to say ‘Oh my Gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd’) but thankfully, have a go lad Jake was up for the challenge. And I’m not talking the challenge of getting frisky with Irish Nadia (whoever she is); that already looks as if it’s going to be a walk in the park.
Securing ten stars for playing with building bricks (something Jake only just mastered last week) and counting eels (again, counting being something that’s just recently been added to Jake’s skills list), Jake managed to claim a full lot of meals for camp (or, if Gemma were still here, a snack). This went down very well and was the second day in a row of successes in the Bushtucker Trials.