Tag Archives: Marlene Madenge

Waterloo Road: There’s a riot on the roof of the school!

lula waterloo road(Series 9, ep.17) The issue of immigration, both legal and illegal, has been addressed more than once on Waterloo Road, and deportation of illegal immigrants has also featured, most recently with the character of Ndale. This time the situation was addressed differently, because the person due to be deported was fairly long-time cast member Lula Tsibi.

Most of the episode was, predictably, as mad as a box of frogs. Any situation which gives Audrey McFall the chance to get fired up with righteous fervour gets my vote, and in this she was prancing about, eyes sparkling as she announced that this time they would be “making history, not studying it.” I expected her to start brandishing her souvenir sword in an inspirational manner, but sadly she didn’t – she had her hands full with handing out marker pens to make placards and phoning the local press.   Continue reading


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Waterloo Road: We need to talk about Kev, Vix, Nix and Hex

nikki hector waterloo road(Series 9, ep.16) After only the briefest of happy interludes, the engagement of Vix and Nix is no more, thanks to Nikki being unable to resist the allure of Mr Hector Reid. If only Nikki and Hector hadn’t arrived at the school at the same time as Barry was dropping Gabriella off (in an Audi this week. Where is Barry getting all these different cars? It’s like Gone in 60 Seconds at that school gate at the moment). Gabriella, who is enjoying the pleasures of Barry but seems to have far more fun sniffing Hector’s boxing gloves, wasted no time in checking Hector’s phone. Texts from Nix to Hex revealed the truth, and Gabriella revealed it to Vix in a handily-arranged extra-curricular jewellery making workshop.

vix nikki waterloo roadThere was a lot of crying, and Nikki begged Vix to forgive her. Vix had the Twinkle-Spark family on her side. Sue was furious: “Is she gay? Is she bi? Is she a total bitch?” Simon was disappointed in Hector – he thought he and Hector had a shared mindset. Barry thought Hector needed sorting out. “You can’t just go in there and punch him on the nose,” argued Gabriella. “Yer I can,” said Barry (though he probably wouldn’t have, because Hector is a PE teacher and has his own boxing gloves and everything). They made do with puncturing the tyre of Hector’s motorbike with a handy nail gun.   Continue reading


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Waterloo Road: Maddest ever episode. And it’s not even the end of term

(Series 8, Ep.28) There was rather an end-of-term feel to this episode, what with the inspirational speeches, the mass staff resignations, the change of head teacher and the thwarted acid attack. But there are still a couple of episodes of madness to go before we can hang up our lab coats and bin our pencil cases for this series.

michael lorraine waterloo roadMichael Byrne was seeking to get the local council to take over Waterloo Road from right under the nose of Cockney Lorraine, who was determined to turn the school into the fee-paying Lorraine Donnegan Institute of Excellence (L-DIE). This was the episode where Lorraine (dress code: Bible black) went completely power-crazed and was practically twirling an invisible moustache, so determined was she to get Scotland’s most surreal school on a profit-making footing and bask in glory and cash. Any teacher who didn’t agree with her Vision of the Future was welcome to collect their P45, she announced. Maggie the Dinnerlady said she’d stay, what with having Grantly to look after and that, but Lorraine didn’t want her. Frankly Maggie’s approach to power dressing would have entirely downgraded the promotional brochure and Lorraine wasn’t having any of that kind of thing. The teachers with integrity (practically all of them, given that they were drawn to Waterloo Road by the prospect of Helping These Kids) all said they’d leave.   Continue reading


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Waterloo Road: An almost wedding and a sort-of strike

(Series 8, Ep.27) I’m loving Waterloo Road at the moment. It’s gloriously barmy, operating in an alternative universe where the real world has practically ceased to exist and only soap rules apply.

waterloo roadThis week it was the wedding of the teacher with the pointy face and her boyfriend, who only arrived in this country from Malawi a few short weeks ago and has now been installed in the Waterloo Road basement with an Addams Family chair and various swooning females for company. And he has his own Waterloo Road polo shirt. No one else has one, so it must have been specially made for him.

If only he’d been specially made for Audrey, but no sooner had he set foot in his new basement than he was setting other parts of himself (don’t dwell) on Less Cockney Sonya. So smitten was Sonya that she was even decorating Audrey and Ndale’s wedding cake with the words “Congratulations Ndale and Sonya.” It was the finest wedding cake moment since Ruby Fry smashed up Rachel Mason’s cake back in series five.   Continue reading


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Waterloo Road: Kevin Chalk, sword of vengeance

(Series 8, Ep.26) Having been without a functioning TV aerial and with internet powered by three candles and an empty baked beans can, I’ve been unable to watch Waterloo Road for a couple of weeks. This week I acquired an extra candle and managed to watch it on iPlayer and I’m very pleased I did. Talk about drama!

kevin steveo connor waterloo roadAny episode of anything that starts of with Gang of Four as a soundtrack (‘Anthrax,’ no less) is going to make me happy, and in this case it was the soundtrack to the dastardly “Hawaii” Steve-O outlining his plans to turn Connor’s hand to burglary and other money-making crimes. If Connor hadn’t already been the palest colour it’s possible for a live human to be, he’d have gone pale.

The extent of Steve-O’s nastiness only became clear (to me, as presumably this was seen in a previous episode) when Dynasty admitted to Kevin that he’d raped her. At this point I have to say the acting from Abby Mavers throughout this episode was brilliant, and she also has the most beautiful accent. Anyway, her admission turned Kevin into a quivering bundle of rage and he concocted a plan to kill Steve-O, with the help of Connor. This sounded about as good a plan as the one to get Connor to rob houses.   Continue reading


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Waterloo Road: Out of body experience

(Series 8, Ep.2)  I missed episode 1 of the new series of Waterloo Road (apart from the first 10 minutes) and decided to just dive straight in to episode 2. Frankly, it was like falling down a rabbit hole.

Some of the familiar landmarks were there – Tom Clarkson, Grantly Budgen, The Adorable Josh – but we weren’t in Rochdale anymore, Toto, we were within picturesque shimmering distance of the Clyde. Michael Byrne has always spoken with a Scottish accent, what with being Scottish and that, and I expected a certain amount of Scottishness, but certainly not from Jane Beale out of EastEnders, who’s apparently an alcoholic teacher these days. She’s the mother of an extremely pretty son, Connor, who may be easy on the eye in a pale-eyed, alien-type way, but is more than a tad weird. You can forgive him this, what with the alcoholic mother and everything, plus he is not the strangest kid in the school by a long chalk.   Continue reading


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