“Don’t ask me to work in your restaurant,” Kathy told Ian towards the end of last night’s episode. “I worked in the caff and a bus crashed into it. I worked in the chippy and a car crashed into it…”
It did, as well. Kathy had the grazes on her face to prove it, but luckily the deep fat fryer stayed intact otherwise it could have been a lot worse.
Kush sustained a dislocated shoulder, and when Denise finally decided to kiss him, she inevitably chose the dislocated side to go in from, although she’d been at the other side of the bed for the rest of the evening. This made him wince. But not as much as Carmel is going to make them both wince when she finds out her best mate and her number one son are an item. Continue reading
Everyone loves a soap wedding. It’s the chance for all the cast members who aren’t on holiday and assorted non-speaking extras to don their finery and fascinators. It’s a time of romance, happiness, firearms and that moving moment when the vicar/registrar asks if anyone knows any lawful impediment and the embittered ex/drunk relative/etc gets shakily to their feet to deliver the killer blow (sometimes literally) – that is, if both the bride and groom have actually turned up in the first place.
The wedding of Sharon and Phil on EastEnders (or “Mr and Mrs Phil Mitchell,” as they are styling themselves, which sounds strangely old-fashioned to me) was never going to be uneventful. Even if they’d been on their own on a desert island those two could concoct some drama between them. Their speeches were all about trust and fresh starts, and we in the audience were quietly reminded that this might be a tricky proposition by Shirley (whom Phil “slept with” very recently) glaring at the newlyweds across the wedding breakfast of poshed-up cockles & whelks and pie & mash. Continue reading