Tag Archives: lucy benjamin

Casualty: Connie from the Rye

jacob connie casualty(Series 30, ep.5) Racism, Islamophobia and terrorism are huge subjects – perhaps too huge for a 50 minute popular entertainment programme to do justice to. When the popular entertainment programme is Casualty and its bread-and-butter storylines deal literally with life and death on a weekly basis, maybe it’s not such a stretch. Writer Mark Catley had a good go at it in this episode, presenting a snapshot of opinions, from Lucy Benjamin’s right-wing racist to a grieving Muslim father begging for an end to violence (“When did it become okay for us to kill?”) and praying alongside a nurse reciting the Christian Lord’s Prayer.

This was wrapped up in an entertaining and dramatic story that at one point had a female terrorist and Jacob going gun-to-gun and Jacob being shot by the police.

Luckily the bullet passed right through him, which is difficult to imagine given that Jacob is so muscular he seems to be entirely solid. Jacob and Connie had been flirting with each other for much of the episode. He was determined to find out where she was from, spotting that she’s not quite as posh as she likes to make out. Connie was keeping her guard up, but as soon as Jacob got shot she became all whispery and emotional, and eventually admitted she’s from Peckham. Is she going to regret that moment of weakness when Jacob’s back to full arrogant strength and she wants to revert to being Mrs Beauchamp rather than Connie from the Rye?


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Holby City: Who’s sitting at Hanssen’s desk?

(Series 15, ep.5)   “Who is running Holby City?” Ric wanted to know when he discovered Henrik Hanssen had taken a leave of absence (that’s “leave of absence,” worried Hanssenites – they mentioned him so often in this episode that I’m quite confident he’ll be back. It’s Luc Hemingway all over again). Ric was not perked up to discover that the answer to his question was (temporarily) Serena Campbell, a woman with whom he does not exactly see eye to eye.

She’s confident, that Serena. Her job interview was more like a sales pitch to the board.  “I have what I believe is a compelling solution,” she briskly informed them. “Me.” The thing with Serena is, although she does display flashes of warmth, she is really all about the balance sheet. As such, she did look scarily comfortable in Hanssen’s chair.

Everyone wanted Ric to go for the CEO job, because Michael Spence and Elliott Hope weren’t interested in it and everyone is scared of Serena. The four of them seemed to be the entire candidate pool. I don’t have any particular knowledge of NHS administration, but I couldn’t help thinking this wasn’t the most realistic scenario I’d ever come across. What it did do, however, was set Ric up for the classic patient v future-of-the-hospital dilemma. He had a patient who was about to have a kidney transplant, and the kidney she was about to get might or might not give her cancer. Serena thought it would be dreadful publicity for the hospital if they gave a patient cancer, but Ric felt the kidney was the only option for the patient. It wasn’t ideal that his interview for the CEO job meant he had to leave the operation early and leave the suturing up in the capable hands of The Malick. Naturally the machines started going beep while he was away, and by the time he got back to theatre there was blood everywhere. “You take the vein, I’ll take the artery,” said Ric.   Continue reading


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I’m a Celebrity: Little Chef the horny sheep

With my imaginary PhD in psychology gained from watching reality shows from my sofa, I like to think that I know a thing or two about group dynamics. It’s not that difficult. However nicey nicey things start off, when someone (Colin, I’m looking at you petal) says “It’s so great that we all get on so well” the death bell of harmony tolls, and you know things are about to go gloriously tits-up. We saw some of the tough steely core of Kim Woodburn last night when she came down from her caravan to give Justin Ryan the stern wagging finger for bitching ‘behind her back’. She doesn’t do this of course, she bitches in your face. She was well out of order telling Justin he ought to get his moles surgically removed “Because you’re such a good looking lad you know”. She is bloody marvellous in many ways, but clearly not sensitive at all about other people. Still, at least Justin has Colin to snuggle up to on the jungle swing seat. Adorable, the pair of them.

But on I’m a Celebrity, producers like to help the process of group disintegration along by sticking the boot in. Or boot camp in this case. After picking teams, everyone stood on a stump trying to keep their pole firmly on a button. If they got distracted (and Justin ‘helped’ this along with his singing on the sidelines once he’d gone) they failed the challenge and got splashed in the face with vile liquid. One by one the big boys went – even Joe Bugner – and slight but clearly impressively determined Sabrina Washington came out top and her team got to return to the luxury of a red cushion-lined base camp.

Meanwhile, Lucy Benjamin’s team, including George Hamilton, Kim and Gino were relegated to Exile, which was spider and rat infested. And an absolute filthy tip. It nearly broke the mighty heart of Kim Woodburn. We’ll have to wait and see if she’ll pull through.

But in the meantime, I have a question for the voting public. Why have you voted for Katie Price to do another bushtucker trial, hmm? Yes, PLA is quite right. It’s team Andre on the speed dial, which admittedly is funny. However, in my opinion, it’s about time the Little Chef got his face dunked in some stinky goo. The fear of farting was bad enough, now we’ve had to hear all about how horny Gino is feeling, how he wakes up with a little sheep, or ‘scopare’ Italian slang for erection. Not so unusual in men, but did we really want to know it took him five minutes to get out of his hammock?

We also now know he expects sex at home every morning. His poor, long suffering wife. Now she gets a bed to herself to make as many Dutch ovens as she likes, and no Little Chef the horny sheep jumping on top of her the moment the cock crows. Must be heaven.

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I’m A Celebrity: A terrifying new beast in the jungle

Camilla has left the jungle (“Out of her dancing shoes, she cannot survive,” as Inkface said yesterday). Her replacement presumably will be less likely to go all fainty and cry about having to eat crocodile feet, as he is former boxer and human brick shithouse Joe Bugner. Handily, Joe lives in Australia, so was on the spot when he received the call to start stitching his name to the back of his vest.

Unfortunately he seems to have spent his time in Australia learning the names and killing methods of every venomous and/or aggressive animal in the country, and he wasted no time in listing them all to the horrified campers. “This is not Beverly Hills,” he warned them (though I imagine at least George has already spotted that difference). Lucy, who had just got to grips with sleeping while cockroaches are falling on your head, wasn’t best pleased to hear about the many and varied ways of dying the jungle has to offer – and I couldn’t help thinking that the Australian Tourist Board won’t be offering Joe a job any time soon.

Meanwhile – Team Andre, would you please give Katie Price a rest from these bushtucker trials? Watching her with her head covered in slime and mealworms, contemplating a jacuzzi with baby crocodiles and a refreshing insect milkshake, I couldn’t help thinking she’s suffered enough for now.  Particularly as she’s also suffered the wrath of Kim Woodburn, who called her out on her stated desire to come to the jungle to “escape the paparazzi.” “Don’t give me that, dear,” Kim told her. “You love it! It’s what you live for.”

Actually, on second thoughts, Kim’s right. La Price knew exactly what she was signing up for. Bring on the kangaroo testicles…

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