Tag Archives: Les Dennis

Coronation Street: Better the Dev you know

coronationstreetjulie“You had me at amazing!” gushed a breathless Julie, placing a solitary finger against Dev’s lips and being the first person to ever shut him up with any ease. This says a worrying amount about how little it takes to impress Julie, given that Dev only got the chance to deliver the one adjective, but the Street’s latest will they/won’t they pairing are very much now on.

It wasn’t an easy ride though (don’t go there, just don’t). Julie had been partially snared by Dev’s random business contact of the week, the dashing Dominic and, instead of being an adult about the situation and simply telling Julie how he felt, Dev thought it would be the best idea to play a few mind games to try and set the couple off on the wrong foot; thus allowing Dev to swoop in like the Lothario he is. He told Julie that Dominic was still aching from a divorce (Dev, really, not much can put off a woman who has locked lips with her nephew and fallen head over heels in love with Brian Packham) while he went for the ‘Julie is as mad as a box of starving cats’ tactic with Dominic. Which didn’t involve a huge amount of lying to be fair.  Continue reading

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Coronation Street: The joys of murder, depression, osteoporosis and diabetes

Coronation_Street_spoilers__Tracy_to_go_on_the_run_with_Rob__Kate_Ford_interviewI had high hopes for Corrie making a bit of a turnaround during the trial scenes recently, but it’s fair to say that that week of decent drama was a one off. Coronation Street really is all over the place at the moment and the critical wedding scenes and climax of Tina’s murder story, which could have been so much more, have proven to be a turn off.

So where are we up to in the world of Weatherfield? Rob and Carla’s stag night truth or dare sesh provided the juicy titbit that it was in fact Rob who bludgeoned Tina to death. Rob thought they were just having a night of the souls but, unlike when Tony Gordon confessed to her that he killed Liam (why do murderers confess their deepest crimes to Carla on a whim? She should work for the CIA), there was no way that Carla could keep this to herself. Peter, her cheating, alcoholic, temperamental ex, is lounging behind bars with big Jim McDonald and the dullest possible cellmate for company, accused of the crime that her brother did in fact commit. All credit to Alison King; she performed well in these confession scenes as always and provided a much needed reprieve from the pantomime that was the rest of the week’s scenes.

She allowed an edgy Rob to make it all the way up the aisle before a short conversation with Ken made her decide that she couldn’t chink champagne glasses with two married murderers and decided she would tell Tracy the truth. Not wanting to stick around for the horrendous acting that was to ensue, Rob bolted off, leaping over fences like Jai from Emmerdale and pursued by no one. Tracy screeched and half heartedly tried to push Carla over so that she scuffed her knee lightly while the rest of the congregation seemed mildly interested that a murder had just been revealed at a wedding.

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UK Soaps: A year where being a beautiful young woman meant death

EmmerdaleAnyone who is anyone in the UK British soap magazine world knows that today, the results of the Inside Soap Awards 2014 are revealed, about half a year since they were launched. I call them the Inside Soap Awards 2014, but I prefer to know them as ‘The ‘Which Soap has the most dedicated multi-voting fans awards 2014.’

Either way, it’s got me thinking (dangerous stuff, I know) about the last year in the world of soap. Here, I reflect on a year of underwater escapades, murders of beautiful young women, collapsing attic floors, rooftop death dramas, dramatic house fires and Steve McDonald.

I know, given the fact that I write here about all soaps, that I should display some degree of impartiality, but I’ll openly declare that I have mostly voted Emmerdale this year. So, that’s as good a place to start as any. It’s been a blockbuster year in Britain’s most eventful village and not a leek show in sight. Instead of village fetes and sheep shearing, we’ve seen armed sieges, rooftop plunges and Charity Macey getting slapped about the chops with her husband’s meat tenderiser.   Continue reading

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Twatbox: Amanda Holden

I had no problem with Amanda Holden as an actor. She did bitchy very well, and I liked her very much as Mia in the entertaining hairdressing drama Cutting It opposite Sarah Parish. The women out-shone the men in it, and in the weekly  battle of the clippers, they were equals. It was a fair fight.

I didn’t view gossip about her marriage problems, relationship with Neil Morrisey and subsequent divorce from Les Dennis to be any of my darn business. I was holding my tongue about her as judge on Britain’s Got Talent because I’m not sure how much you can judge a person sitting next to Simon bloody Cowell.

However, my dislike for her began to grow (along with loathing for the whole patronising bunch of tossers on the judging panel) with her first reaction to seeing Susan Boyle on the show. She has the sort of prissy little nose I associate with Disney characters and nasty girls who thought they ran the school playground à la the film Heathers. And upon sight of Ms Boyle, she turned it right up. Sneering in character is fine and appropriate, not at a real person, not when you’ve been blessed with conventional good looks, wealth and you wield a lot of power in the world.

But it was later, on  another show, after Susan Boyle’s success, that I really could cheerfully have shoved a mud pie in her smug, silly face. She was referring to Boyle’s ‘little problem’ of facial hair. Oh yes Amanda, very big, very witty and clever of you to mock her for having a beard and not hiding it well enough. I doubt she’d come across laser treatment, or could have afforded it. Unlike you, she didn’t have access to a wealth of beauticians, stylists, plastic surgeons, personal trainers and designer gowns.

Got you a cheap laugh didn’t it, at the expense of someone not equipped with your poison tongue and not in a position to get back at you for your vanity, vacuity and imbecility? Not a fair fight. Shame on you, Amanda, for your unprovoked unkindness.

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