(Series 9, ep.20) The end of another term at Waterloo Road, and by WR standards it went off without a hitch. Nobody died, Christine managed to stay sober and the only injury was Kacey Barry plummeting from a climbing wall and breaking her wrist (followed by dreadful first aid – how not to deal with a person who could well have had a spinal injury).
We left Connor and Emo Imogen bound for an exciting life of being a chef and a trainee actress respectively in That London; Nix and Vix off for their own exciting life in That Berlin (and what a lovely happy ending that was for Nikki Boston); Carol Barry sticking with George even though he isn’t rich; Kevin Chalk learning to walk again; Dynasty about to embark on a career in the bizzies; Kacey waiting for her wrist to heal before setting her sights on the Olympics; Christine moving in with Audrey so she can hopefully stay sober enough to teach English next year even if she isn’t head; and Simon Twinkle-Spark wondering why nobody likes him. He’d wonder that even more if he’d seen Sue Twinkle-Spark being kissed by his old buddy Hector Reid. Teamwork makes the dream work, indeed. Continue reading
(Series 9, ep.16) After only the briefest of happy interludes, the engagement of Vix and Nix is no more, thanks to Nikki being unable to resist the allure of Mr Hector Reid. If only Nikki and Hector hadn’t arrived at the school at the same time as Barry was dropping Gabriella off (in an Audi this week. Where is Barry getting all these different cars? It’s like Gone in 60 Seconds at that school gate at the moment). Gabriella, who is enjoying the pleasures of Barry but seems to have far more fun sniffing Hector’s boxing gloves, wasted no time in checking Hector’s phone. Texts from Nix to Hex revealed the truth, and Gabriella revealed it to Vix in a handily-arranged extra-curricular jewellery making workshop.
There was a lot of crying, and Nikki begged Vix to forgive her. Vix had the Twinkle-Spark family on her side. Sue was furious: “Is she gay? Is she bi? Is she a total bitch?” Simon was disappointed in Hector – he thought he and Hector had a shared mindset. Barry thought Hector needed sorting out. “You can’t just go in there and punch him on the nose,” argued Gabriella. “Yer I can,” said Barry (though he probably wouldn’t have, because Hector is a PE teacher and has his own boxing gloves and everything). They made do with puncturing the tyre of Hector’s motorbike with a handy nail gun. Continue reading
(Series 9, ep.13) Gabriella Wark really is the perfect villain. She’s gorgeous – and the best villains are always pretty – and she’s a mistress of manipulation. First of all she acquired Verruca Salt as a sidekick, because it’s always handy to have a sidekick to do the donkey-work, especially one whose self esteem is so low that you can make an instant disciple of her just by paying her some attention and calling her “Rhi-Rhi.” Then she proceeded to acquire Imogen as well, not so much as a sidekick but more as a means of upsetting Dynasty, whose major crime is that she’s not bedazzled by Gabriella.
Gabriella’s other focus, apart from upsetting Dynasty, was to get her hands on new PE teacher Hector “Teamwork makes the dream work” Reid. When he told her in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t interested in any of that inappropriate pupil/teacher romance stuff (how very un-Waterloo Road-like of him), Gabriella flounced out of the moderately pleasant bar she and Imogen were in, and ended up in the sleazy bar she’d sent Verruca to, where the tattoo/teeth ratio was tilted heavily to the tattoo side. Making no attempt to ingratiate herself with the regulars, Gabriella proceeded to almost get herself bottled. And then, as Mariah Carey told us in song, a Hero comes along. A hero with an evil new haircut and the bad-boy swagger that can only come from being the black sheep of the Barry family. It was only Barry Barry! Continue reading
(Series 9, ep.12) It’s not often that a Controversial New Initiative lasts for more than a week, but obviously the concept of Resilience has… resilience. It’s so resilient there’s even a Resilience Camp in the offing. Dynasty is desperate to go – well, you can’t blame her really. An entire get-away-from-it-all holiday revolving around simulated terrorist attacks and trying to climb over a small wooden wall? Brilliant!
The problem is that the Barrys are a bit strapped for cash now that Barry is no longer around to provide extra income by selling the teachers’ cars on internet auction sites. So Carol put on her best Humble Face (this is the one with less makeup) and went to see Christine, to ask if Dynasty could possibly go to Resilience Camp for free.
Her visit coincided with a crisis in the canteen, and Carol soon found herself donning the tabard of canteenly office and lining up alongside Maggie the Dinner Lady (who is now Maggie the Home Economics Teacher who thinks she’s way too good to dish out macaroni cheese from a serving hatch except in emergencies) and Connor, who’s just thrilled to have any excuse to go near a stove. You know how he loves a good flame. Continue reading
(Series 9, Ep.11) In an ever-changing world, it’s very reassuring when some things stay the same. It’s so comforting to know that, even though it’s now a Scottish school and has an almost entirely new staff group, Waterloo Road still has time for our old friend the Controversial New Initiative.
This one – codename Resilience Education – was introduced via the medium of a simulated terrorist attack during school assembly, complete with fake tear gas and a masked intruder who’d locked everyone into the school hall. Scary! It was lucky that the school has its own have-a-go-hero in the form of ex-army officer Nikki Boston, and it was lucky for the fake terrorist that the baseball bat she whacked him with was also fake.
Was this all some dastardly plot by Pious Kim Campbell to traumatise the students so much that they’d need the resources of the top name in pastoral care to help them get over it? No, it was all dreamed up by Simon Losely and new PE teacher Hector Reid, who’d been on a course called RAW – Resilience At Work, apparently. Continue reading