It’s been a massive year in Emmerdale with errant lumps of Jimmy sperm leading to surprise births, have a go heroes drowning after being blasted with flare guns and Kerry having a shot at being a novelist and we have gasped, laughed and watched in awe all along the way.
But, as well as being entertained, it’s important that we learn lessons too. So what can we take from Emmerdale’s wacky 2014 that will help us survive life in 2015? 20 lessons I have learned that will change all our lives for ever; here they are:
1) If you are going to donate sperm next year at any point (it’s certainly on my to do list) try and remember that you have done it and ensure that you inform your better half. These things have a habit of coming back and biting you on the ankles.
2) Never hire Kerry as a ghost writer. If Zoella had done this, her debut novel wouldn’t have just beaten 50 Shades of Grey, it would have emulated it too. Look no further than the adventures of Kitty and Randy for proof.
MORE: Exclusive extracts from Kerry’s novel about Kitty and Randy
3) Cougars will always turn psychotic and dress up in your next bride’s wedding dress. Bear this in mind when you’re taking lessons from the older woman next door, particularly if she owns a beauty salon and likes a swig of whisky.
4) Trying to steal pigs is a bad idea. The likelihood of you bringing home the bacon successfully is low.
5) If your husband’s infant daughter is grieving over the death of her mother, the best approach probably isn’t to throw selfish strops and get drunk on wine behind the wheel. This makes you seem a bit like a…well, a complete bitch actually.
Well Jai Sharma is in a stickier situation than his toffee factory in a heatwave. Last seen taking a leap of faith down his staircase, Jai was brought out of his medically induced coma, on the advice of Dr Rishi last night and thrust straight into a whole lot of stressful matters that made his bumpy fall seem like a full body massage.
There was a queue of eager visitors waiting to see Jai as he came round last night but none of them had a bunch of grapes and a ‘Get Well Soon’ card. The visits went from the fussing and frustrating (Georgia) to the murderously threatening (Cain) to the just plain awkward (Megan). Continue reading
I love Emmerdale at the moment. It’s a show that has always been able to blend warm drama, excellent humour and nail biting drama effectively and it’s currently firing on all cylinders.
Soaps go through the biggest peaks and troughs of any television medium. Considering they have to churn out several episodes per week and still be expected to remain fresh and original, it’s really no surprise that there are seasons when the shows almost hit the skids. There was a point this time last year when BBC’s EastEnders looked like it was on its last legs, but its recent reinvigoration has really turned things around.
Emmerdale, however, has remained steadily consistent, hitting us recently with yet another blockbuster storyline that had it all. I am, of course, talking about Donna’s downfall, which pulled a range of characters into an emotional scenario that was both thrilling and moving.
Emmerdale played a blinder, keeping the eventual outcome of Donna’s rooftop death a surprise for viewers. The fallout from the tragic events has been heart-wrenching to watch, with particularly notable performances from Michael Parr as the tortured Ross Barton and Mark Charnock as Marlon, the grieving dad of Donna’s daughter, April. Continue reading