“Songs from the Movies” night on The X Factor last night, and there were some unusual choices. No ‘My Heart Will Gwaaaan’ from Titanic, thank the lord, and no ‘I Will A-Hallways Love You’ either. Instead we had some creative choices, such as Jamie’s decision to sing ‘Crying’ (the old Roy Orbison song) from everybody’s favourite movie, Gummo (no, me neither, but it is real).
Joe stuck to the tried and tested ‘Circle of Life’ route, and he sang it well. The judges all agreed that Joe ticks all the boxes – he sings in tune, his voice is pleasant to listen to, he’s a nice person, and he’s good-looking. So why am I finding his performances so forgettable? The answer, I think, is that he’s just not sexy. I’m sure he’s as hormone-packed as the next boy, but there’s just no sense of it when he performs. Granted, ‘The Circle of Life’ is hardly the tune to start exuding animal magnetism to, but I’m not talking about thrusting pelvises or pouting into the camera-type sexuality (yes, Stacey, I’m talking about you here – good try, love, but no).
Compare Joe to the older Olly and Jamie. Both of them, and particularly Jamie, look like they’ve had a memorable night or two in their time. Compare also to the younger Lloyd. He’s all pretty Welsh innocence at the moment but he has that glint in his eye…
Anyway, before I start speculating too much about the glints in eyes of 16 year old boys, let’s move on to how everybody else did this week. I’ve been criticised for criticising Olly, but I like Olly, honestly I do. He’s a lovely bloke and he throws himself happily into his performance every week. Sadly this week he sang ‘Twist and Shout,’ a song that John Lennon put so much into when he sang it, it left his throat bleeding. You’re never going to top that (though to be fair to the lad, he fair brought the house down). Lucie was revisiting her Avril Lavigne look this week to sing a song from Camp Rock, and the judges all said she was “authentic” and “relevant.” If they think they’ve found a British Miley Cyrus they’re deluding themselves. Brownie points to Stacey for managing to walk on unfeasibly high heels and sing at the same time. Jamie’s version of ‘Crying’ was heartfelt, but I didn’t like the way he had to keep switching octaves to suit his range. Danyl was much better this week, and his new Ashley Cole haircut has at least gone down well with Cheryl. Lloyd, bless him, is, as the judges said, out of his depth in a singing competition. But he should be snapped up for Hollyoaks immediately – he has the face of a pixie angel.
Which leaves John and Edward and their ‘Ghostbusters’ routine. If Jedward had to just stand on the stage and sing, they’d have been out of this competition weeks ago. But, thanks to Simon Cowell realising (following Britain’s Got Talent) that what the nation wants is a variety show of a Saturday night, they get the Brian Friedmann routines and the full force of the costume and props people behind them, and produce an amusing little routine each week. And, frankly, it’s often the highlight of the evening.
So who will go tonight? I have no idea, to be honest. The bottom two will probably include Lloyd or Danyl, but I think Jamie may be at risk (noooooooo!!!). Go on, Britain – vote Jamie!