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Coronation Street: The secret prison diary of Peter Barlow

soaps-corrie-8509-2Mixed day for Carla in last night’s Corrie really. Let’s start with the good news; she’s got an order for tens of thousands of pairs of knickers. No it isn’t a crazed Alison King stalker with a bizarre under garment fetish, I’m talking an Underworld business deal here and Carla was in such high spirits that she didn’t even sack Suspicious Sal for receiving cheap flowers during work hours.

To celebrate, Carla whisked her workforce to The Rovers for celebratory drinks, proving what I have always thought: pants make people happy. The bad news was about to walk in however. Newly released Peter Barlow wasted no time in settling back onto the Street and made a bee line for his ex wife; insistent that they pick up where they left off before Tina was murdered half a century ago.

Carla’s ploy to ignore Peter didn’t last too long; given that he was much too stubborn to take the hint and the couple were granted the exclusive use of Liz’s back room. (Don’t go there.) As Carla pointed out, the last time they were in here, their lives were spectacularly falling apart so it wasn’t the best venue for a reunion but that didn’t stop Peter trying his best. When pining and begging didn’t work out, he tried a bit of blocking her exit; which, as you’ll recall, worked out great for Tony Gordon.

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Coronation Street: Where are you sticking that banana?

medium_i8mWYB5FgnmANF-9Im0Mqn_WHv1-PpR2yrr5tconb8MLast night’s Corrie double had it all didn’t it? Ongoing feuds exploding across the Street, veiled threats of prison violence, dodgy ex husbands threatening suicide whilst preparing a reunion dinner, exhaust pipes being stuffed with fruit, dog-napping by a child assisted by lesbian teens, pill popping mothers lying to GPs and, of course Gerogia May Foote dressed to the nines in a lovely blue number for the standard Weatherfield Monday night out.

The main story of the night was Todd inserting his banana into an exhaust pipe (please, do grow up) in order to cause a distraction that would allow him to sneak into the garage and steal an apple. No, you haven’t wandered into an alternate dimension; this was genuinely the basis of the main storyline from last night’s Corrie. And still, it outrated every other TV show yesterday by over a million viewers.

Let’s delve a little deeper (into the storyline, forget Todd’s banana). Todd is feeling a little put out as he is taking the flack for something which is almost entirely his fault. Wanting to lash out at Tyrone and Foghorn Fiz, he decided to leave a chilling message by nabbing the remainder of Luke’s lunch from under their noses.   Continue reading

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Coronation Street: Easter, Weatherfield-style

It was all happening in Coronation Street over Easter, wasn’t it? John Stape had a bigger meltdown than an Easter egg in a microwave; there was possibly the gayest episode of a British soap ever; and Eddie Windass packed his piping bags and headed to Germany.

John Stape should really not have stopped taking his medication. “You shouldn’t have taken him off his medication!” Fiz yelled at Boyish Dr Whatsit as they hurried off to find John, who’d barricaded himself in the back room of the bookies’ because he thought the police were after him. “I didn’t tell him to stop his medication!” protested Boyish Dr Whatsit. “Oh,” said Fiz. Meanwhile, John had popped home, gathered up his Colin Fishwick Bank of Weatherfield debit card, and wandered off again.

He had something to do, he told Fiz, via the medium of mobile phone. That thing was to take a load of money round to the parents of Creepy Charlotte, to make amends for having  helped kill her with a hammer (he didn’t tell Fiz that bit). The Charlotte Seniors arrived home to find an agitated “Colin” feeding £20 notes through their letterbox. It was clearly time to put the kettle on and have a few custard creams.    Continue reading

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