(Series 6, ep. 2) SPOILER ALERT: I’m not going to be able to review this at all without totally ruining it for anyone who hasn’t seen it, so if you don’t want to know, please don’t go any further. Stop reading now.
It went similarly to the way many people predicted. Davos, now at liberty to Get Things Done at Castle Black after the wildlings sorted out Alliser Thorne and his cronies, enlisted the help of Melisandre (now back to her radiant younger self) to have a go at reviving Jon Snow. She was a bit hesitant – although it was theoretically possible, it wasn’t something she’d ever tried herself. But she’d give it her best shot.
The ritual involved giving Jon’s manly (yet dead) torso a nice wash, then giving him a haircut and a beard trim – chucking the trimmings on the fire – and saying the magic words. Every child knows that the real magic word is “please,” and this is the word Melisandre resorted to when her spell didn’t seem to be working. But Jon remained stubbornly lifeless. Everyone filed out, depressed. But Ghost, who’d been sleeping in the room, suddenly woke up – and Jon took a breath. Oh my old gods and new!
It remains to be seen whether he’s instantly his old self, or whether death has changed him at all. I can’t help thinking it might have done, and at the very least he’s going to need emergency hairdressing to sort out Melisandre’s random snipping.
Someone who never changes is Ramsay Bolton. I said last week that he doesn’t like being passed over, and when a disagreement with his father about the best approach to conquering the north culminated in the news that Roose had just become the father of a baby boy, it didn’t take Ramsay long to stab daddy and feed his new son and heir (plus the baby’s mother) to the dogs. I know I shouldn’t like Ramsay, but he enjoys being evil so much, and I’m sure Iwan Rheon enjoys being Ramsay being evil. He’s my guilty pleasure.
No sign of Daenerys this week, but in her absence her other two dragons weren’t doing well and had gone off their food. Tyrion rather bravely decided to unchain them, reasoning that they were intelligent creatures who knew who their friends were, and he was a friend. Possibly they also didn’t think he was that much of a snack – more of an amuse bouche, really.
Jaime, meanwhile, was having a bit of a face-off with the High Sparrow and Cersei was giving Tommen a hug and reassuring him that, however useless he is as a king, he’ll always be better than Joffrey.
Sansa and Brienne had a quick catch up about Arya (“She wasn’t dressed like a lady,” Brienne told her. “She wouldn’t be,” said Sansa), while Theon decided to strike out on his own and head back to the Iron Islands. He’s going to find things in a state of flux when he gets there, because a mysterious figure (his uncle, apparently, though I was confused) has pushed his father off a bridge so there’s currently a power vacuum. Yara thinks she’s the natural heir, but it seems that there has to be some sort of election.
Bran can walk! But only in his dreams. His dreams this week were of Winterfell, and Ned Stark as a boy. Hodor was also a boy called Willis, and he could say words that aren’t “Hodor.”
Arya still can’t see, but Jaqen H’ghar has decided she’s had enough of sitting on the steps begging and being hit with a big stick regularly. He offered her the chance of food, a comfy sleep or getting her sight back in exchange for saying her name – but a girl is, steadfastly, Nobody. And Nobody gets to move on.