(Series 17, ep.48) When I say this episode was an absolute joy (as Nick Fisher episodes usually are), it wasn’t just because Selfie had to hold a live grenade for most of it. There was also the delicious banter between Mr Oliver Valentine and Dr Zosia March (“Makes my toes curl just thinking about it”), and Dr Dominic Copeland trying to maintain his perkiness between the twin difficulties of getting evils from Hanssen and having to deal with the world’s gloomiest (and funniest) man.
But first we’d best keep an eye on that live grenade. Ron (John Bowler), the husband of the recently deceased Milly, was wandering around the hospital carrying a Napoleonic era box (thank you, Digby) containing photos of his late wife. He wanted Selfie to see them, to see the woman Milly was and had been rather than a set of symptoms. Selfie proved to be a hard man to get to, what with being locked away in the ivory tower of the Self Centre. Adrian ‘Fletch’ Fletcher is an easier man to get to, because he wanders around previously unseen areas of the hospital exterior just for the purpose of finding upset people to be nice to. He’s been trained on Casualty, where they do a lot of that sort of thing. He’s kind and he’s lovely (Dr Raf Not-Smug adores him and the Fletchlings and wants them to stay forever at Not-Smug Towers) and he oozes empathy. So he said he’d bob up to the Self Centre and get Selfie to come down and talk to Ron.
What he didn’t know was that Ron’s Napoleonic era box also contained a little gift for Selfie – a grenade (or Mills bomb, as we now know it must be termed. Holby is so educational). If Selfie had been apologetic, humble and half way human, I imagine the bomb would have stayed in the box, but he was his usual pompous, arrogant Self (“hand-holding isn’t his forte” – who knew?). In no time at all he found himself holding a live grenade – and if he let go half the hospital would be blown to kingdom come in four to seven seconds (depending on exactly how old the grenade was).
The next half hour was thoroughly exciting as the hospital was evacuated and armed police roamed the eerily quiet halls. Fletch could have evacuated himself, too, as Ron had no wish to blow up such a nice man, but instead he did his best to keep things calm and stop Selfie doing anything stupid. When the bomb was dropped, it was Fletch who went running outside with it to try and fling it as far away as possible – and after the explosion it was Fletch who was left in a pool of blood.
Will he pull through, or will Dr Raf Not-Smug end up having to look after the orphaned Fletchlings full time?
When the bomb scare happened, Zosia, Elliot and Oliver were in the middle of surgery, so they had to try and evacuate a patient whose heart was visible to even the most casual observer. It was a tense and stressful situation, but Zosia had already admitted that there was nothing she liked better than cutting people up, and days with Oliver and Elliot in theatre were the best days of her week. Bless her. She said it was even better than sex, but considering her current partner is Slimy Seb, that’s not such a surprising statement.
When the bomb went off, Ollie and Zosia went flying. He was flat on his back and looking lifeless, but oh so pretty. When he opened his eyes Zosia was so happy and relieved that she had no option but to give him a thorough kissing. Bless.
No such fun for Dr Dominic Copeland, who was busy looking after the world’s most lugubrious man (played by Dai Bradley who was in Kes – and it’s spooky how you can still see Billy Casper’s eyes looking at you from an older face). Richie Hicks wasn’t only a committed pessimist who could “produce more pus than they’ve ever seen,” he needed a tricky vacuum dressing and was also in the middle of a malpractice claim against another doctor. Dominic thought he’d been set up by Hanssen, but he and Richie eventually developed quite a bond (“Dominic, the treatment is doomed!”). When Dominic found Richie smoking in the toilets when he was supposed to be being evacuated, he called him a drama queen. “I’m not lucky enough to even create a vacuum,” muttered Richie.
Dominic dealt beautifully with all this, but he still didn’t get Hanssen’s approval. I really think this has gone on long enough and if Hanssen doesn’t recognise soon that Dominic is (a) trying hard and (b) adorable, I shall be writing him a memo.
And in other news, Digby doesn’t high five. Ever. It doesn’t sit right with him.
Next time: Will Fletch pull through? How will Digby cope with the stress of it all? And will Zosia decide to dump Slimy Seb and keep the smile on Ollie’s face?