In pursuit of Charlie’s waste-of-skin son Louis, Connie and Charlie hurtled to Bucharest, pausing only for Connie to grab her Touche Eclat, a gorgeous woolly jumper and some hand sanitiser.
Bucharest looks rather lovely, albeit cold. There was snow on the tops of the buildings, but mainly slush underfoot, which was nicely atmospheric but probably a bit of a nightmare for the actors.
They found Louis in a beaten-up state in a hospital bed. It turns out that he’s a heroin addict, which nobody who’s followed his career to date will find very surprising. The hospital itself was like Holby, but the equipment looked more like it was made to be washed and used again, rather than the plastic and cardboard disposable stuff regularly seen in the NHS.
Louis soon scarpered from the hospital, because he owed a bad man a lot of money. Charlie and Connie tracked him down to a warehouse/squat-type place. It was all flickering fires and Dickensian-looking ragged citizens – like a more Instagram-able version of the Farmead Estate. And there they discovered that the man Louis owed money to runs a kidney-selling ring, and Louis’ precious organs might be in peril.
Charlie and Connie argued about the best way forward and he went off on his own, leaving Connie to go back to the hotel, get bored and end up in the arms of the hunky Romanian doctor she’d met earlier. Meanwhile Charlie was getting drunk on some dubious alcohol and getting shouty in nightclubs as he looked for Louis (who was at that very moment being prepped for theatre in a kidney clinic).
Louis’ girlfriend got beaten up by the Bad Man and ended up on the hunky doctor’s doorstep looking for help. There she found Connie on her own enjoying a post-coital coffee, and was able to get her dislocated shoulder relocated.
Charlie was swiftly summoned and they all rushed off to the kidney clinic, to find Louis in the middle of surgery but still in possession of both kidneys. Connie was easily able to sort him out surgically, once she’d recovered from the nasty shock of discovering who the surgeon was. Yup, it was Dr Night-Before. As if this wasn’t excitement enough, Charlie had to drive Louis away in a hail of gunfire and do some serious James Bond-style getaway driving. Connie stayed to make sure Louis’ girlfriend was safe and to look frosty and disapproving at Dr Night-Before. “Give me the chance to be the person you thought I was,” he pleaded. “But you’re not him,” said Connie, in a voice that could have had those slushy pavements refrozen in seconds.