(Series 29, ep.13) Casualty was getting in the seasonal mood in an episode packed full of Christmas songs, tinsel, fairy lights, a live turkey, grown men dressed as reindeer and close-ups of a disgusting abscess being drained. Festive!
The main story revolved around Ash and his post-Jeff reinvention of himself as a medically trained Bruce Willis. “No one dies on my watch,” is his new motto, and it was technically true – but outcomes would have been much better without his intervention. He sent a panicking, asthmatic father off to find out what pills his son had taken, even though Dylan was coping quite well without this information. The result was that the father accidentally ran someone over and was arrested for being over the limit, having been happily cooking a festive meal and having a glass of wine just before his son took the pills. Ash did manage to save the run-over man by refusing to give up on the chest compressions even when the situation looked dire, so he thought it was a job well done – but the patient wouldn’t have been there in the first place if Ash had only done what Dylan told him.
Dylan and Tess were furious, but Ash’s response (before he staggered off to look tragic outside the staff counsellor’s office) was, “If I can’t save lives, then what’s the point of Jeff?”
Ah, dear Jeff. I wonder how long it’ll be before we have an episode in which his name isn’t mentioned? Not that I’m complaining – it’s realistic and nice that he hasn’t been forgotten. I like how there’s usually a bit of comedy attached to memories of him, too. This week a basket containing a live turkey arrived for him. He’d been planning getting a turkey for a long time, according to Dixie, but I can’t imagine Jeff having the heart to slaughter it. Honey wanted to call it Jeff and keep it as a pet. Big Mac called it Dave (I used to have a guinea pig called Dave. #RIPDave), and Dixie arranged to have it returned to the turkey farm. Just think about that as you tuck into your Christmas turkey – it might be Dave you’re eating (#RIPTurkeyDave).
Talking of Big Mac, he was having headaches and thought he probably had a brain tumour (though he has no other evidence to back this up). “You’re not dying,” Honey told him, which means he probably is dying because there’s nothing more fatal than dramatic irony.
The Prettiest Man in the Department, Max, was experimenting with a new hairstyle, which everyone agreed was a mistake. Sartorially possibly not as much of a mistake as the reindeer costume he was forced to wear to hand out presents on the children’s ward, but it didn’t stop Zoe giving him a Look. If you’re going to be torn between two men, you could hardly pick more opposite types than Dylan (grumpy, terrible people skills, brilliant mind) and Max (smiley, friendly, on the average range intelligence-wise). I’d have previously said she should go for Max, because he’s pretty and I’m shallow, but I’m very much warming to Dylan this time around. There must be something about him if he manages to attract women as fabulous as Dr Zoe Hanna and Army Dr Sam.
Meanwhile that other pretty boy, Cal, was finding his partying lifestyle was catching up with him. And Connie needed some help with Grace, so she called Audrey Strachan – Sam’s mother.