Jimmy and Foggy locked in a shed together, Kendra using her thrusting head and her tongue and Tinchy Stryder trying to orienter; yes it was another bizarre 90 minutes in the Australian jungle packed full of Z Listers and critters. Don’t ask me which is which.
The viewing public had very kindly decided that we were to endure another trial full of Kendra whining (‘Oh my gawwwwd, I cyaaaan’t you GUYS’ etc) and doing little else, leaving the producers a bit narked that they were spending thousands on putting these trials together and they were hardly being used. You’d think that using her mouth in order to guarantee being fed at the end of the day would come naturally to Kendra, given her past career choice, but alas, she was barely able to burst her head through Mona Lisa before she was giving up on each segment of the trial. Even Ant and Dec were starting to lose their trademark cheeriness and you could tell that they just hoped she would get her head stuck in one of those frames. If so, could we just leave her there for the remainder of the series?
She took a single star back to camp, which amounted to one sausage. The size of this sausage was disappointing according to Edwina, which can only say positive things for John Major’s endowment. Kendra took it in her stride that she had spectacularly failed once more, and indeed the rest of the camp seemed resigned to the fact that if Kendra was voted for the trial then they wouldn’t eat. With Edwina being ruled out of the next trial, it was inevitable therefore that they won’t be eating tomorrow either. Yep, Kendra is up AGAIN. The joys.
Later on, Jimmy and Foggy were sent to the Shed of Dread (which is any shed for a DIY-phobe like me) in which they had to examine grotty tubes and could have potentially been there for 12 hours. The heroic celebs back home decided to give up their make up pencils and postcards from home in order to cut the time Jimmy and Foggy had to spend in said shed. That still didn’t stop Jimmy freaking out as it filled with a few beasties and, worse, led to a singsong of horrendous proportions. Speaking of which, Jake Quickenden, the guy voted off at the start of X Factor, was giving singing lessons. The irony was completely lost on him.
The latter half of the episode was taken up with an excessively complicated and dull to watch orienteering challenge for Tinchy Stryder and the lovely Nadia. While they tried to track down Jimmy and Foggy, the gang back home had to muddle their way through mental arithmetic, finding keys for chests and other mundane little tasks which was utterly torturous to watch. As it turned out, it was all pointless anyway as the task was called off over a bit of rain and they won the stars regardless.
Still, at least they’ve had a good meal before Kendra inevitably makes them go hungry again today.
Written By Our Man In The North