I’m (kind of) a Celebrity is back- complete with creepy critters and huge challenges; and that’s just the celebs themselves. Ten million of us tuned in last night to see a group of people we’re sure we’ve seen somewhere before thrown together in an Australian torture camp. For most, it would be a horrendous dive in living conditions but for Gemma at least, it was a step up from Essex life.
The series began in the usual way; ten famous-ish faces from footballers to models to Red Dwarf pilots/cabbies to someone who once went out with that Playboy pervert; everyone had a legitimate claim to fame and spent the first five minutes talking to the screen from a comfortable cocktail providing hotel about how excited they were by the challenge that lay ahead. It is destined to be their last feelings of positivity for three weeks.
Michael Buerk, the amiable BBC news guy, was the first to arrive, followed closely by his intellectual match, Tinchy Stryder. After not quite mastering a ‘friends 4 lyf’ handshake, Michael and the Tinch got off to a heartwarming start; setting in place this year’s version of the Joe Swash and George Takei love-in. Michael is a likeable chap; himself pointing out the irony of a celebrity snob entering a celebrity reality show and, like any good journalist; he soon had former PlayGirls teaching him how to twerk.
Once the awkward ‘so erm, who are you?’ conversations were done with (‘Of COURSE I know what ‘Hello, Hello, is!’) it was time to get down to business. One set of celebrities were heading to jail (‘Not AGAIN!’ cried the legendary Craig Charles) while the other would be their rescue team.
Having taken a 23 hour flight to Australia, Gemma suddenly decided that she was afraid of flying and had a nervous breakdown in the front of the helicopter. As such, she was escorted to the jungle in the boot of a car before being dropped off in the dark with only a small lamp for company. Upon realising she had to walk to camp (walking was NOT part of the contract) Gemma was soon threatening to quit. I’m not buying too much of this faux ‘not realising what she’s in for’ behaviour as all entrants are shown several episodes of the show before they sign their name anywhere but in fairness, Gemma was probably in a world of her own when her agent was describing the gig to her. At any rate, she eventually joined her campmates but was threatening to commit suicide, including dreaming up various methods of doing it, when she learned she would have to have porridge for dinner.
The reason she was subjected to this horror was because their former ally Carl Fogarty had been rescued from their cage and sent to do the first Bushtucker Trial. This just involved a 12 minute cosy up with a few snakes; something which Foggy took in his stride. Upon winning, he was given the option to send the food back to Gemma and co or to take it with him to his new camp and his rescuers. He made the decision that any man who had just snuggled up with serpents is entitled to make and took the food with him, something which had to be repeated to Gemma for it to truly sink in.
Not that everyone was totally grateful. Kendra expressed real distaste at having to eat wallaby for dinner; most likely earning herself the most votes to the first eating trial which will show her what real nasty culinary punishments the show can bring out of the bag.
Aside from Craig Charles and Tinchy’s new BFF Michael; I struggled to really feel much towards the new campmates this year but it is early days and there is still plenty of time for those pleasant and, in some cases, not so pleasant, personalities to shine through.
Did you enjoy the return of I’m a Celebrity last night? Who do you like and who do you loathe so far? let me know either by leaving a comment or tweeting me at https://twitter.com/Our_manPLA
Written By Our Man In The North