Emmerdale: Hatch, match and dispatch

58593It was just another standard day in Emmerdale village yesterday. We had the breakdown of a wedding before the bride and groom commenced a secret affair, we had a hapless Jimmy playing the world’s worst midwife as the mother of one of his many babies went into labour in his front room, we had a crazed Charity sprinting around in the woods yelling for Declan to come and kill her, we had Megan reaching the depths of despair as a grave was dug for her son shot by a flare gun, we had self appointed health guru Kerry launching her own exercise regime which consisted of eating biscuits and, perhaps most thrillingly of all, we were treated to a scene of the Dingles dining on plates of leaves.

The main focus on the day was the long awaited wedding of Priya and Rakesh. Previously, Rakesh had confided in his wife to be that he loved her, which is always a helpful sensation when engaging in matrimony. The problem was that Priya was less convinced than ever that she would be able to return this gesture and, after skipping breakfast, she spent her wedding morning locked in the bathroom. As Leyla panicked, Georgia hit the roof, Jai continued to sulk and the legend that is Rishi threw his fists around in fury, the one person who sat and listened to Priya was Rakesh himself.  

After a heart to heart, they both reached the decision to call off the wedding, which didn’t go down too well and, most frustrating of all, gave jumped up Jai the opportunity to gloat. However, as their day was pulled apart, Priya began to realise that Rakesh’s understanding of the whole matter meant that she probably COULD fall in love with him after all and, in the most bizarre ending to a runaway wedding, the jilted bride and groom were snogging eachother’s faces off.

Elsewhere, Jimmy continued to procrastinate over signing Juliet’s ‘You can’t have anything to do with my baby accidentally created using your sperm’ form to the point where I crassly commented to Our Lady In The North that the baby would arrive before he signed this pesky paperwork. Lo and behold, within a minute, her legs were splayed, torrents of abuse and emotion in equal measure were exploding from her and Jimmy was flapping around like a monkey escaped from a zoo.

Nicola was less than impressed to arrive home to see the miracle of birth taking place on her front room carpet, but she was at least slightly more use than Jimmy was and helped Juliet deliver baby Carl. Jimmy, the soft lump that he is, then cradled the newborn in his arms and travelled with Juliet to the hospital. Even though he eventually signed the form, will it be too hard for Jimmy to let go? Nicola’s face suggested that she was worried about precisely that, as she commenced scrubbing afterbirth from her rug.

Megan made a reappearance from wherever she has been grieving just in time for the police to arrive and inform her and Charity that they are scaling back the search for Declan’s body. The coppers seemed pretty sure that he was long gone but this is soap, and whenever there isn’t a body, doom is imminent. Megan has picked up on that theory, and wasted no time in warning Charity that Declan will come for her sooner or later and even a trip into the woods to try and coax a murderous Declan out of hiding, wasn’t enough to put Charity’s fears to bed.

Lisa’s health kick didn’t get off to a good start either. After taking Kerry’s point that her own body is like a well kept temple, Zak employed her as Lisa’s coach. All she really did towards this new found role was eat biscuits in front of Lisa and suggest that she sucks on a lemon. Lisa then tried watching a fitness DVD but no one had told her that for this to be of any use, you actually have to get up and join in. So they settled for a plate of rabbit food instead, which didn’t seem to bode well with Zak’s palette. Still, he’s making every effort to support his wife and it is touching to see.

What did you think of tonight’s Emmerdale? Would you trust Jimmy at the birth of your child? Let us know using the comments form below. While you’re feeling in an Emmerdale discussion kind of mood, give me a follow on Twitter too for more news and views, as well as my invigorating aura. https://twitter.com/Our_manPLA

Written By Our Man In The North

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