(Series 16, ep.46) Percutaneous fetal balloon valvuloplasty. It’s easy to say (the “balloon” bit is easy to say, anyhoo), but very, very tricky to do. Indeed, it’s so risky and rarely performed that Jac Naylor described it as “groundbreaking” to Selfie, and that was enough for him to give it the thumbs-up. Jonny Mac wouldn’t have given it the thumbs-up if he’d been CEO, because he thought it was way too risky and was just about Jac showing off. He should know by now that Jac does, indeed, enjoy showing off her surgical skills – but only when she’s reasonably confident of a good outcome for the patient.
The unborn patient in this case was the result of a one night stand, and Jonny had plenty of advice for the baby’s father. In fact he came over quite misty-eyed when talking about Emma, and is still describing her as being strong because she takes after her mother. He hasn’t given up hope of a friendly co-parenting set-up for Emma, but to Jac it’s apparently off the table. “I can’t do this, ever,” she told him, twice. Is it because she’s afeared that if she becomes a “proper” parent she’ll go all Sahira Shah and have to make cupcakes and hide the faces of child patients in case they make her cry?
Normally when there’s groundbreaking surgery going on, Selfie would have been on the phone to America and got lots of press and investor types earnestly peeking through the Darwin theatre viewing screen at the wonder of it all. Not this time, because he had a party to go to. The top line of his CEO application form did mention that he had “the ability to prioritise.”
So it was left to something of a dream team of Jac, Mo and Mr T (Mr T!) to get the procedure successfully done. Mo “felt an inappropriate high five coming on” afterwards. Jac replied that normally she’d laugh in her face, but she permitted herself a small fist-bump of celebration.
Talking of “celebration,” let’s get to this party, which was actually a fund-raiser of some sort and was a splendid excuse for some regular cast members and a lot of non-speaking extras to don their glad-rags. The highlight of the evening was a charity auction, in which the star attraction was a sporty wee car. The winning bidder was Dr Raf Smug, who managed to get into a bidding war (or willy-waving contest) with Dr Posh and bid well over the odds for something that’s going to be entirely impractical as soon as Baby Smug-Smug/Posh arrives.
When last seen, the car had a sitting tenant in the form of Serena, who was using it to hide from new board member Billy Tressler-Posh. Selfie’s advice on how to handle Billy Posh (“Just smile and nod”) brought the brilliant response, “I’m not a bloody geisha!” Serena and red wine really do make a delightful combination (as long as she isn’t going to go down the Peter Barlow route).
Something else I enjoyed about Serena this week was the solidarity between her and Colette, who helped her find a carer for her mother. It makes a nice change to have female colleagues on Holby being friendly and supportive rather than back-stabbing and bitching (though obviously this doesn’t mean I want Jac Naylor to go changing any time soon).
Back to that car auction, and driving up the price along with Posh and Smug was Dr Zosia March, who was having a very strange week. She should really be kept well away from all cancer patients, because it always makes her think of her mother and she gets all unhinged. This week she took it upon herself to make a dying man (Roy Hudd) happy by reducing his medication so he wasn’t sleepy (but was in pain), eat a steak in front of him so he could enjoy it by proxy (Pulses apparently don’t mind if you bring your own food in from outside, which is handy to know if you want to eat anything other than a muffin), and then take him to the party. Her heart’s in the right place, but sadly her judgement and self-control are shot to shreds. While the auction continued, Zosia’s patient was barfing blood all over the place and Digby and Zosia had to rush him back to the hospital, where he died. And Digby, who is Zosia’s self-appointed guardian angel, was left to peer at her with a worried frown on his face as she danced by herself in the dark in the Linden Cullen Memorial Shrubbery.
Next time: Is Baby Smug-Smug/Posh a boy or a girl? I bet you can’t wait to find out.