As if that wasn’t dreadful enough, the train also derailed spectacularly and Tess was left in a terrible state waiting for a knight in shining paramedic garb to come and rescue her. Cometh the hour cometh not just the expected Jeff, but also the unexpected Fletch, who told Tess he loved her before un-impaling her from whatever was impaling her and carrying her out of an exploding train carriage to safety. Hero!
So Tess is safe, Fletch is safe, their secret love is no secret any more, so it’s hurrah all round. Except not – because Tess, who is practically built from Moral Fibre, can’t be happy in a relationship that started off with lies and cheating and whatever. Indeed, the reason she was on the train in the first place was that she was on her way to a job interview in Birmingham, because she can’t cope with seeing Fletch and his lovely quiff day in, day out.
“It’s not a problem,” sniffed Fletch through his tears. “I love you but I’ve already secured a nice job offer from the lovely people at Holby City and I shall be making my way to the Hollywood of Hertfordshire very soon. I’m looking forward to it, actually, because they’ve just reopened a new and improved Lidl in Borehamwood.” He didn’t exactly say that, but that’s what’s going to happen (Lidl has already happened, and they’re not even paying me to say so).
Meanwhile, Connie Beauchamp was getting to grips with being Queen of the ED by doing some more pouting, a bit of shouting and wearing her perfectly-tailored scrubs. I can’t help thinking that all her hair everywhere is a health and safety hazard, though. Charlie should have a word.
Next time: Michelle Collins off of Corrie and EastEnders! Just keep her away from Selfie – she still hasn’t forgiven him for killing Sunita and burning down her pub.