(Series 16, ep. 27) When I said last week that the Smug/Smug/Posh love triangle was like the Hanssen/Shah/Douglas one, there was another parallel I wasn’t thinking about at the time. Dr Smug, AKA Dr Raffaello Di Lucca (which is possibly Italian for “smug”) is reminding me worryingly of Sahira Shah the Registrah. Remember when everyone used to stand round gasping at her parachute stitching? Remember when she had that exciting new initiative where she would sit in the back of a converted ambulance in Tesco’s car park and wait till someone had a heart attack, and then operate on them as they hurtled back to Holby over speed bumps just because she could (something like that, anyway)? Remember how loathsome that all became?
Raf Smug is rather like that. People get tearful just at the thought of what he can do with his ECMO pump (he has a shop-bought one now and doesn’t have to make do with the one he made out of Tupperware and tin foil). This week he and his little pump brought a frozen man back to life and a nation sobbed and cheered, while women swooned and felt inspired to go back to medical school so they could be that brilliant as well.
Luckily there were people who were a bit less impressed. One of them was Dr Posh, who looks at Dr Smug and sees the word RIVAL hovering over his head. Mo also failed to go all fangirl with him, because she has ninja level surgery skills (though I’m worried that the two of them are being lined up as future love interests. I do not want this to happen. The only man for Mo is Mr T [or Sacha, if he stopped being stroppy/serious and got back to being cuddly again]). Mrs Dr Amy Smug was also unimpressed, mainly because Dr Smug has a problem no amount of ECMO pumps can solve. Even though he can coax life out of almost dead people, there is no life in his sperm. A bout of mumps caught in Malaysia has all but ruined his hopes of being a father.
This upset Amy to such a degree that she was forced to go out to the Linden Cullen Memorial Shrubbery and punch some trees. That’s no way to treat a relaxing green facility. Amy wants to go down the sperm donor route, but Dr Smug isn’t prepared to bring up someone else’s baby. Even if it has the lovely blue eyes and singing skills of Dr Posh? I fear that’s where we may be headed, as he was lurking in the background of nearly every scene and seems determined to win the hand of the fair Amy. Will he be able to resist showing off the fabulous quality of his sperm?
If I dwell on this too long I may need to chunder into a cardboard bowler hat, as Dominic so nicely described the cardboard sick bowl he handed to his patient, Kevin. Then he proceeded to whip it away again so Kevin vommed down his hospital gown instead. This was because he recognised Kevin as someone who’d bullied him when he was at school, back in the days when he was called Darren. The kids called him “Gay-Dar” and this was part of the reason he changed his name to Dominic. And because it sounds posher than Darren.
Dominic is a brilliantly twisted individual. As the “big wheel of karma” had put Kevin in his care, he used every sadistic opportunity to get revenge on him and even enlisted Zosia to help. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if we had the idea that Kevin was really a bully… but he certainly didn’t give that impression. In fact when he was telling Digby about how lovely Dom/Darren’s mother was, he seemed rather sweet. Digby was confused, though. Wasn’t Dominic’s mother supposed to be dead, according to the tragic story Dominic told them last week? A quick Whippet Search was all it took to confirm that Carole Copeland was alive, well and Employee of the Month at her local supermarket.
Digby confronted Dominic with this information, and with a casual shrug Dominic admitted he’d lied about having a dead mum because Zosia had a real dead mum. Digby’s face when he heard that was a picture – shocked and quite gleeful that perhaps now Zosia would believe what a psycho Dominic really is. She was definitely cross – but she ended up going to Albie’s with Dom for a post-shift pint regardless. Poor Digby – what does a guy have to do?
Jac and Jonny were in no mood for a post-shift pint, though they had a patient who was so annoying he’d drive anyone to drink. Alan thought he had post-profusion syndrome, or “pump head syndrome” – mental impairment caused by being on heart bypass during previous surgery. Jonny and Elliot didn’t think this was even a “thing,” but Jac did. It turned out Alan was only using it as an excuse to try and get off some criminal charges. It was all an excuse for a bit of brains-speak about lawyers, as Jonny was still threatening to take Jac to court for custody of Emma. Elliot attempted to calm things down, and right at the end it seemed that Jonny was maybe ready to discuss things with Jac – but she’d misread the way things were going and had already instructed a “Rottweiler in kitten heels” of a solicitor. I can’t wait to meet her.
Next time: Lucas from EastEnders (Don Gilet) is a new anaesthetist – it’s been a while since we had one of those; there’s a nasty surprise for Mo; and an even nastier one for Jac.