(Series 16, ep.22) Ricin had been discovered in the ED. Or was it a raisin? There was some linguistic confusion, but the upshot was that emergency patients had to be channelled towards other wards (rather than to the Mythical St James’s) while Charlie implemented a quarantine-type situation. As RoboNurse5000 strode around with a clipboard acting like she was Deputy CEO rather than queen of nurses (she’s presumably passed the HR woman’s test as we haven’t heard anything since), Selfie said he thought it was about time the ED had a consultant who could whip it into shape. We have seen the future, people, and her name is Connie Beauchamp.
But, with all the extra bodies arriving in AAU, it was all too easy for Jess’s nasty husband David to turn up and persuade her that, even though she’d had her operation moments before and was still groggy from anaesthetic, it was time she legged it away from the hospital. So off they went in his car, hotly pursued by Ric (also in a car – he’s not as fast as he used to be on foot).
Seatbelts, emergency braking and freshly inserted surgical stitches don’t mix, and pretty soon Jess had become as unzipped as PLA Jr’s purse in Topshop. Ric caught up with them, there was a bit of an altercation and Jess ended up running David over.
Ric and Jess dashed back to Holby so Serena could fix Jess up again. Soon afterwards, David was brought in with a ruptured spleen and a policeman who was worried about MRSA. “We run an incredibly clean ward,” purred Mary-Claire, enjoying the fact that she had the best line of the night, “but I could find you a dirty little corner if you asked me nicely.”
Ric obviously doesn’t want to see his daughter sent dahhhn for running over her abusive ex, so he owned up to doing it himself. Oh, Ric. Such noble self-sacrifice.
Let’s haul ourselves up the stairs (or even take the lift) to the lofty heights of Darwin, where the “love triangle” of JonBonJac is grinding on. If a triangle can grind. This week’s development saw Bonnie get all cross and anxious because Jonny seemed to be getting on too well with Jac. “How can I compete with her being the mother of your child and all that?” she wailed (I’m paraphrasing) in the Linden Cullen Memorial Shrubbery. Simple – by becoming Mrs Maconie. Jonny dropped to one knee to propose in Holby’s second most romantic location (after Rodolfo’s). I wonder if Jac will get to be a bridesmaid when she, Bonnie, takes him, Jonny, to be her lawful wedded etc. She would probably rather be force-fed confetti with a dirty fork.
On Keller there isn’t a love triangle, but there is a thin line between love and hate-type situation still going on between Selfie and Selfette, or Dr March as she prefers to be known. I really think we should get a petition going to get Psych Sharon back from wherever in America it was that she went, because if anyone is in urgent need of counselling it’s Zosia. Just a glimpse of her father is enough to make her go all tantrumy and start throwing her toys and her stethoscope out of her pram. She took her resentment of the way he handled her mother’s death to another level this week, when she had a disagreement with him over a patient’s care. Deciding that he was putting funding issues above the patient’s interests, she incited the patient’s militant granddaughter to shift him (the patient, not Selfie) to a different hospital (predictably they only got as far as the car park) and then to put in a formal complaint against Selfie.