(Series 16, ep.17) I spent the majority of the time during this episode wanting to slap one or other of the characters. Looking on the positive side, I suppose this meant there were characters I cared enough about to make me want to slap people who were being horrible to them, but still… all this aggression can’t be good for my blood pressure. Each story line had its own slapable person in it – some of them even had two – and the worst part of it was that one of them was Sacha, formerly the Nicest Human Being on the Planet.
As the slapability count was highest on Keller, let’s get that one out of the way first. Following on from last week, Sacha was carrying out his threat of making Digby, Dominic and Zosia do tests in which a failure by one meant a failure by the group. This despite the fact that Digby is a year ahead of the other two and has only recently been crowned Doctor of the Year. Sacha, meanwhile, has morphed from being Mr Cuddles to being all stern and cross, and I don’t like it at all. Power used to not sit comfortably on Sacha’s shoulders – I remember once when he was put in charge of AAU and had a half-hearted attempt to get Mary-Claire to call him Mr Levy, which lasted for about twenty minutes. Maybe it’s because he’s been so horribly treated at the hands of Chrissie, but he seems like a different person now.
He did redeem himself a little bit when he discovered Digby had thrown away his Doctor of the Year certificate, and he tracked him down to the Linden Cullen Memorial Shrubbery (which looked particularly splendid) to have a quiet, and more sympathetic, word.
The reason Digby was sulking in the Shrubbery was that the other slapable Keller character, Dominic, had spent the episode winding him up. Sacha had the pair of them competing with each other to sort out a sick fireman. Dominic came up with the diagnosis – cyanide poisoning – although he only stole the idea from Zosia and spent the rest of the time flirting with the patient (“Jamie Foxx would play you in the movie”). It was Digby who made the bigger discovery that the fireman wasn’t a fireman at all, but not before things had gone pear-shaped and the fireman was left with permanent changes to his digestive system. Digby was out of his depth, and without Chantelle standing by with a paper bag for him to breathe into he was soon in high-anxiety mode, but being undermined by Sacha forcing him to compete with that little worm Dominic can’t have helped.
There was no relief to be found on Darwin, where That Bonnie Creature was trying to decide whether to call Jonny “Daddy Mac” or “Mac Daddy.” Ooh, which is best? A clue: neither. To be fair to Jonny for just a second before I start properly slagging him off, Jac was being a bit of a nightmare, too. She’s started looking for a nanny for Emma, which is fair enough because the last thing I want her to be is a stay-at-home-mom – because then she wouldn’t be at Holby doing what she does best (ie ninja level surgery and sarcasm). But she’s also put Emma’s name down for the Elmswood Academy for Girls, which is a bit previous and sounds dreadful. It sounds like something Lady Byrne would have done – in fact, did try to do for wee Baby Byrne, as I recall.
This made Jonny go into eye-popping emoting mode, and he was aided and abetted by former patient Lexie and her Herzig heart and hotline to God. Jonny decided he wanted Emma to have a hotline to God too, and arranged for Lexie to christen her in the Linden Cullen Temple of Anguish. “The Jonny Mac I knew wouldn’t take no for an answer,” prompted the irritating robo-vicar, who only escapes a slap from me because Elliot is very excited that she’s a walking, talking Herzig owner.
I’d have expected Jac to tell Jonny where to stuff his religious twinges – she strikes me as the kind of woman who has the concept of God filed neatly between Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy – but she agreed to the christening. Just at a better venue than the LCMS, which makes sense because that place is probably a total infection risk.
On AAU, it was Selfie who was looking for a slap this week, first of all for telling Serena to take off her “ridiculous shoes.” I would like to see him try that kind of crap with Connie Beauchamp or Dr Zoe Hanna, and I would dearly have liked to have seen Serena throw her coffee at him – she was handily holding a cup. But she did as he asked and presumably spent the rest of the episode in Crocs, which was a shame as she was looking extremely foxy and the plot called for her to do a great deal of flirting, which is not so easy in Crocs.
The person she was flirting with was the charming Mr Tressler. No, not Dr Tressler/Posh – this was Mr Tressler/Rich, father of the aforementioned Posh, who was having a hernia repair. Father and son weren’t the best of friends – like Oliver Valentine, Posh’s choice of career had been a big disappointment to his money-loving father. Tressler Senior had some spare cash kicking around, and in no time at all Serena had persuaded him to part with it in the direction of the hospital. Then Selfie showed up, diagnosed a neuro-thingy and Tressler Senior decided all the money from his newly-hatched Tressler Foundation should go to neurosurgery.
Serena was understandably miffed. “You said you’d give me my voice, but every time I try to use it you silence me,” she complained. Selfie said he didn’t give a damn about her ego. Vile, odious man. Serena decided a bit of power was better than no power at all, so she agreed to be in charge of the Tressler Foundation anyway.
Next time: Emma’s christening or extremely rare cardiac procedure? Ummm…