(Series 16, ep.14) After last week, the question on everyone’s lips was, “What will Jac and Jonny’s baby be called?” It wasn’t on everyone’s lips for long, because it had already found its way into programme information for a few episodes hence, and from there people couldn’t wait to plaster it all over Twitter and any other available outlet.
So when the paediatrician kept telling Jac and Jonny that they really ought to give the baby a name, I already knew it was going to be Emma. The only remaining suspense lay in who would come up with the name, how and why.
I said last week that as soon as the birth was over, Jac had shut herself down emotionally, prepared for the worst. This week she carried on with that, by going back to work straight away, not visiting the baby, and pretending life was normal. Jonny Mac couldn’t understand it, because he was busy emoting all over the place, like he does.
What he still doesn’t realise about Jac, even after all this time, is that the only public displays she’s happy with are of her surgical skills. Otherwise, she is the most private person you could imagine. We only found out just before she gave birth what a bond she had with the baby, and this week we saw that she’s providing breast milk for her, but sends it to NICU via a nurse who’s sworn to secrecy. Obviously the NICU staff must know – I don’t imagine they dish out random breast milk to the babies in their care – but as far as the rest of the world is concerned, Jac isn’t bothered about seeing her baby.
It’s a self-protective device, and what she needs to learn from Jonny Mac and what the paediatrician tried to tell her is that she has to take a risk and let herself bond with Emma, because the baby needs her.
So how did she come up with the name? No idea. Maybe she’s a Jane Austen fan (yup, that sounds likely). Maybe she thinks it’s practical because it’s easy to spell, having grown up with “Jacqueline” as her own name. Maybe it was the first thing she thought of that wasn’t Morvern, Storm or Destiny – which was the direction Jonny Mac was heading in. Maybe we’ll find out next week. Or maybe never.
What we did find out this week was that Mo has a sister. Her name is Adele, and she rocked up on AAU looking like the fairy off the Christmas tree. Fairly soon she was wearing scrubs, because she wasn’t a patient (a fate usually reserved for friends and relatives of the staff) but an HCA. She arrived in the car park just in time to pick up a patient on the way, which got her into instant trouble with Colette, who didn’t think a fairy should be treating patients.
Colette wasn’t in the best of moods anyway, because it turns out she may not have got her job entirely legitimately. Well, about time. I’ve been questioning the free-and-easy employment practices on Holby for ages now, and had reached the conclusion that there couldn’t possibly be an HR department, because appointments were made and resignations accepted apparently on the whim of whoever happened to be in the CEO chair at the time.
It turns out that there is an HR department after all, and her name is Sophia. She decided to keep a close eye on Colette to see if she was really up to the lofty job that Selfie had handed her. The conclusion was that Colette is going to have to re-apply for her own job through the proper channels – now that we’ve discovered there are some proper channels (I think it probably involves being interviewed by Charlie from Casualty the next time he’s in Borehamwood).
I think we were supposed to react to this news with horror that “our” Colette has been treated so badly, but frankly I’d have sacked her on the spot. Not for her casual approach to staff discipline – giving a mild ticking off to some non-speaking extras who were caught snogging in a cupboard is fine and I’m sure Charlie from Casualty himself would have no problem with that. I can just about forgive the fact that she didn’t believe Adele when she had a strong gut instinct that there was something dodgy about her patient’s sister. After all, she’s only just met Adele and she probably doesn’t know Medical Soap Rule 2723(a) that you should always believe the hunches of junior staff members and 2723(b) that the juniorer they are, the righter they’ll be. I can just about overlook the arrogant, stroppy way she ordered Dr Posh to run tests on the patient. He may be junior and he may be Posh, but he’s a doctor and therefore surely deserving of respect at least in front of the patients? But the thing I’m rapidly finding I can’t cope with about Colette is her vocal delivery. Her voice is deadpan and monotone to the extent that everything she says sounds the same. It works for dry sarcasm, but then it never shifts out of dry sarcasm mode, no matter what’s going on in the rest of the scene. Frankly it’s driving me nuts in a way I haven’t been driven nuts since Faye Byrne left. Grrr!
And… relax. But maybe not in the way that Zosia March likes to relax, which is by having her wicked way with Digby. Dear old Digby doesn’t mind being Zosia’s plaything at all, but he’s an old fashioned boy who’s been brought up to follow a night of passion with a morning of coffee and croissants, and probably making sure the bed is properly made and the room is nicely aired too. He’s a good old-fashioned lover boy, in other words. The problem is, as far as he’s concerned, that Zosia is not interested in the trappings of cosy coupledom. She just likes having a little shag-buddy handy when she needs one.
To add to Digby’s misery, she’s also inflicted another flatmate on him – and it’s That Dominic, the one who got Malick into trouble. He’s now back at Holby and working on Keller with Digby and Zosia. Their patient was Ian Lavender off of Dad’s Army, and it was obvious he was a famous person because he seemed to have four doctors all to himself, what with Sacha also being around. Dominic taught Zosia and Digby a few lessons about bedside manners, which Digby was able to put into practice when Ian Lavender went missing and was tracked down to the Linden Cullen Memorial Shrubbery (the basement was already occupied by Colette who’d gone down for a soothing e-cig). He hated hospitals, he told Digby, who told him he should be more positive about them because “people spend their whole day trying to make you better.” When they’re not bitching, sniping, undermining each other and snogging in cupboards, that is.
Next time: How will Jac cope with Emma’s surgery? How will Digby cope with Dominic? And are two Effangas one Effanga too many for Holby?