(Series 16, ep.8) This week we got to know more about Guy Self (or “Selfie” as he’s never called, but he should be). He lost his wife, which knocked his surgical confidence for a bit, but now he’s back. And he likes Miles Davis.
Do we know this because he confided in Sacha over a lemon and poppy-seed muffin at Pulses? No, we know it because a former colleague of his has arrived in the form of Colette Sheward. She appeared like a terrifying amalgam of Sahira Shah the Registrah and Best Nurse Eddie McKee – briskly efficient, stroppy and northern like the latter, and apparently indispensable to the CEO like the former. Irritating, in other words.
Colette had brought a patient with her. He was a former patient of Selfie’s and only Selfie could cure him blah blah. Which he duly did, and Colette couldn’t wait to get on the phone to the hospital the patient was supposed to be treated at and gloat a bit. Selfie then offered her a job. “I’m nothing without you,” he bleated. But is he anything with her? We’ll have to wait and see, because I remain to be convinced about either of them.
Meanwhile, Serena “Should have been CEO” Campbell was busy dealing with a man with something up his bottom. He wouldn’t say what it was, because he was too focused on being sleazy to Serena and threatening to sue Sacha for cutting his designer jacket up. He then tried to get Serena sacked for assault after she gave him a rectal examination. To be fair, as an examination it did carry a whiff of “revenge attack” about it, but he deserved it. Selfie managed to get both Sacha and Serena off the hook after it was discovered that the item up the bum was a roll of cash the man had won in Las Vegas. He’d imported it rectally to avoid paying duties on it, so Selfie levied a little tax of his own in the form of a donation to paeds oncology. The maverick!
Elsewhere, Jac and Jonny were informed by Mr T that the best date to deliver their baby would be February 4th. This is weird, because if the baby was conceived on the night of Tara’s death on 17th April, that puts the due date at the beginning of January. I can only assume it’s a red herring to make us drop our guard in January so we aren’t expecting a surprise birth.
Anyhoo, the two of them reacted in their customary ways. Jac closed in on herself and assumed her professional, business-as-usual head. And Jonny didn’t. They were looking after a patient who was pregnant with what turned out to be a Downs baby, and Jonny didn’t think Jac could cope, so he said he’d keep an eye on the patient while Jac got on with her paperwork.
Jonny’s idea of keeping an eye on the patient was to get all emotive about her baby’s future life chances. The parents didn’t really need him by the bedside waving leaflets at them and hectoring them. It was lucky that Mr T was there with his special brand of quiet bedside manner. At this point I have to mention that I just noticed in this episode what a gorgeous voice Mr T has. He really is adorable.
Despite Jonny’s efforts and the machines going beep and a drama turning into a crisis, the baby was delivered safely and Elliot sorted out the mother’s heart problems. Jonny, who’d spent the episode being a whiny lump, had a mutual brain-speak with the baby’s father along the lines of you have to stay strong for the mother. Then he toddled off to find Jac to apologise for being a muppet.
In one of those rare moments when she peeps over the barricade of her own defences, Jac thanked him for being a muppet. It’s almost like he’s emoting so she doesn’t have to. If only he didn’t have to inflict it on the patients.
Next time: Edward gets nasty. We knew it had to happen!
Holby reviews from June 2009 to May 2013 available from Amazon in e-book (now only 77p!) or paperback here