(Series 16, ep.5) If you’d asked me whether the theme from the film Arthur played by a massed band of amateur kazoo players (with a certain red-haired Irish nurse on vocals) could be emotional, I’d have probably said no. I’d have been wrong.
It was Digby’s birthday. Chantelle’s gift to him was a stress ball and a surprise party. I was going to say why do people on TV always insist on organising surprise parties for introverts who are going to hate it, but the answer is obviously that it’s the only way to engineer big moments like the emotional kazoo playing. All the regular background cast members had kazoos, and frankly they’ve never looked happier, so it was worth it just to see their excited little faces.
It wasn’t the easiest of birthdays even pre-party, given that the guest patient of the day was Cameron, who’d mugged Chantelle and Digby in the car park. Digby thought all of Chantelle’s problems (she’s now on beta-blockers for anxiety) could be traced back to that incident rather than the car crash, and, as these things are apt to do, it clouded his judgement when treating Cameron. As did telling Chantelle he loved her and seeing her less than exuberant reaction. Cameron died, which had Digby puking in the nearest bin, but Serena said it wasn’t his fault.
Not the best background for a birthday party, but worse was to come for Digby. Outside Albie’s (where they first met on New Year’s Eve), Chantelle told him, “I do love you. Only not like that.” Digby’s poignant little reply was, “I can only love you like that.” Awww, bless him. So Chantelle decided it was best for both of them if she moved on – to Ibiza, New York or wherever. He let her keep the stress ball, and she got on the bus and went home to pack. And poor Digby went back to the party.
Mo wasn’t in a party mood, either. In fact, she was all partied out. She arrived for work in the passenger seat of a badly driven flashy car, having spent the night with Joey from the internet. Mr T’s little face when he witnessed that – bless him. It was only a matter of time before Joey turned up in Darwin on a trolley. He had a dodgy heart, not helped by an over-reliance on cocaine. This was embarrassing for Mo, who had to reassure Elliot Hope that she has nothing to do with drugs herself, but worse was to come when she found out that Joey was awaiting the results of a HIV test. Nothing makes you think harder about your lifestyle choices than being potentially faced with a life-altering, work-affecting illness.
On AAU, Chrissie looked a bit put out after Sacha handed her the divorce papers to sign. Possibly he hadn’t cried enough or spent enough time crawling on the floor moaning, “But Chrissie! You are the most wonderful woman in the world and without you I am nothing!” Indeed, he looked almost relaxed about the whole thing. There was a very real risk that Chrissie’s ego would never recover from this setback, but cometh the hour, cometh the man in tight trousers with beautiful eyelashes. “If you were my wife, I’d never let you get away from me,” murmured Michael Spence, sounding only a little bit stalkery. So she had no option but to snog him, which displays excellent judgement on her part. But please tell me he’s not going to be running away with her to Venezuela!
Next time: Who is Mo’s Mr Right? What will Chrissie decide to do? And can Digby cope with Malick?
Holby reviews from June 2009 to May 2013 available from Amazon in e-book (now only 77p!) or paperback here