(Series 16, ep.3) Henrik Hanssen’s parting words to Chantelle were, “Don’t ever stop being Nurse Lane.” But can she get over the car crash to continue being the sunny, joy-spreading nurse she once was?
She was back to work for her first shift. Serena told her she was on admin only, but that was never going to last for longer than it takes to shout “We need some help here!” Digby gave her a cuddly “Back to work bird” to bring her luck, which was adorable of him. It was all going reasonably well until Chantelle caught sight of Malick’s arm while the dressing was being changed and the hideous sight made her throw up. After that she was in a bit of a flap.
She tried to compensate by spreading extra joy to her patients, including a woman whose pregnancy test had come back positive. Chantelle wasted no time in giving the happy news to the patient’s boyfriend. Sadly it wasn’t a pregnancy but a tumour, and the patient died in a very messy way in the operating theatre. I couldn’t help thinking the scene in the Keller theatre was a bit frantic, with Mr T and Digby panicking a bit more than you usually see on Holby, where a spurting artery usually elicits nothing than a raised eyebrow and a call for some suction and 4-0 Vicryl.
In Darwin theatre, for example, Prof Hope was performing his usual miraculous deeds with a scalpel, but did it impress Dr Zosia March? No it did not. Surgery is “just plumbing” according to Dr March, who is more interested in the contents of people’s minds than the contents of their chest cavities. This made Jonny Maconie Very Cross Indeed and he gave her a telling off which went right over her head. Zosia is Teflon-coated when it comes to other people’s opinions of her.
She made the classic mistake of speaking out of turn and giving a patient an option that wasn’t really an option. This time it was telling a young man with a badly damaged heart that the newly-developed Herzig 4 (yes! We’re on to 4 already. Makes you feel old, doesn’t it?) artificial heart would be a solution to his imminent death problem. Normally when a doctor or nurse proposes something that the more experienced doctors know isn’t going to work, it’s because they have the patient’s best interest at heart and want to offer some hope. In Zosia’s case, she seemed more interested in being able to psychoanalyse someone with an artificial heart and almost scaring him to death with a defibrillator first. She really is an odd person and she could probably do with a bit of psychotherapy herself. The way she pursues whatever interests her regardless of the consequences and seems oblivious to what people think of her – well, she is a tad sociopathic.
Elliot was so angry with her behaviour that he gave her to Jac. If anyone can sort her out, it’s Jac. “F1, you might be entirely weird, but you’re mine now,” said Jac, sending young Saucer out to buy two jars of pickles. So nice to see that Jac is still on the pickles.
Elsewhere on Darwin, Mo had entered the world of internet dating. “They’re always two inches shorter than they say they are,” Jac told her, adding, “Not that I’d know.” Zosia had some formula for internet dating success based on percentage points, and Mo had a date with Mr 73%. This was unfortunate, because after losing his patient on Keller, Mr T popped up to ask Mo out for a drink. He looked ever so disappointed to find her all dressed up with somewhere to go.
On AAU there was an annoying patient in a catwoman suit who kept distracting Dr Posh. Mary-Claire was cross about this, because she was hoping to take Posh to her sister’s wedding in Ireland. By the end of the episode, she’d phoned her sister to say that she would be going to the wedding on her own and her family had to stop feeling sorry for her because she’s single. Hopefully this will allow Mary-Claire to have a storyline which doesn’t involve her poaching other people’s boyfriends or getting sulky about some man or other. Particularly when the man is as lame as Dr Posh.
Holby reviews from June 2009 to May 2013 available from Amazon in e-book (now only 77p!) or paperback here