The sleepy village of Emmerdale, which has befallen disasters such as storms, aircraft crashes, explosions, fires, bus crashes and the ‘Soapstars’ family, played host to dramatic scenes last week that wouldn’t have looked out of place in an episode of 24.
Having done a ‘Tony from Coronation Street’ and escaped from prison in transit, the deliciously unhinged Cameron had a choice between two temptations: jetting off for a life abroad or setting out to shoot Debbie Dingle. He took the choice that any normal human being would have, and armed himself with a shotgun.
As the village itself was pounded by sheets of rain and thunder and lightning boomed through the air, we were treated to several thousand shots of Cameron watching menacingly from the shadows. As night fell, Cameron snuck into the pub and won the audience over immediately by smacking the insufferable Marlon down into a flooding cellar.
The episodes which followed saw a hostage drama unfold in the Woolpack as Cameron threatened every minute to shoot somebody. Bluffing he may have been, but, mostly thanks to a chair wielding Chas, Alicia ended up with a shotgun shell shaped hole in her stomach which finally prompted Dopey David to realise that he loved her. As this plot device ticked away, Zak and Lisa were doing some shouting outside, Cain was eating a baguette in a hotel room and the limelight was stolen by the ongoing domestic dramas of Ali and Ruby.
The crescendo of the week saw the trio of Cameron, Debbie and Chas face a final showdown which, once again, proved that Emmerdale can do what most other soaps tend to fail and produce some genuinely high quality television. The acting was good, the story was gripping and the hamminess was at full throttle, which is just as a soap should be.
It didn’t matter that the bursting of the river inexplicably flooded only a pub cellar in the middle of the village. Nor did it matter that it made literally no sense for Debbie and Chas to try and escape through the cellar when there was a perfectly functioning backdoor. Even the thought of Nicola and Jimmy soiling Declan’s mattress with their ‘making up’ couldn’t put a dampener on the week.
After an underwater struggle which had everything except for sharks, our bumbling heroes escaped, leaving Cameron to be fried alive as he haplessly grabbed an electric light whilst in water. He’s off into the afterlife where hopefully, Carl, Alex and Gennie are ready and waiting to torment him for evermore.
Meanwhile, life in the village goes on. Until the nuclear explosion next month, that is…
Posted By Our Man In The North