Waterloo Road: Maddest ever episode. And it’s not even the end of term

(Series 8, Ep.28) There was rather an end-of-term feel to this episode, what with the inspirational speeches, the mass staff resignations, the change of head teacher and the thwarted acid attack. But there are still a couple of episodes of madness to go before we can hang up our lab coats and bin our pencil cases for this series.

michael lorraine waterloo roadMichael Byrne was seeking to get the local council to take over Waterloo Road from right under the nose of Cockney Lorraine, who was determined to turn the school into the fee-paying Lorraine Donnegan Institute of Excellence (L-DIE). This was the episode where Lorraine (dress code: Bible black) went completely power-crazed and was practically twirling an invisible moustache, so determined was she to get Scotland’s most surreal school on a profit-making footing and bask in glory and cash. Any teacher who didn’t agree with her Vision of the Future was welcome to collect their P45, she announced. Maggie the Dinnerlady said she’d stay, what with having Grantly to look after and that, but Lorraine didn’t want her. Frankly Maggie’s approach to power dressing would have entirely downgraded the promotional brochure and Lorraine wasn’t having any of that kind of thing. The teachers with integrity (practically all of them, given that they were drawn to Waterloo Road by the prospect of Helping These Kids) all said they’d leave.  

lorraine waterloo roadLuckily, in the opposing corner to Lozza was Michael Byrne, looking as sorrowful as ever and reminding Lorraine that before she was International Businesswoman of the Century she’d been almost as rough as Dynasty Barry. Eventually the council decided they’d take on the school, and they wanted Jane Beale to be head teacher. She is, of course, the perfect choice. She may be a just-barely-recovering alcoholic who only a few weeks ago was too pissed to remember who wrote Pride and Prejudice and who spent her down-time battering her pale son, but at least we know about all that and there won’t be any nasty Rachel Mason-type secrets waiting to crawl out of the woodwork. The assembled seven speaking pupils and a dozen non-speaking extras heard the announcement of Michael Byrne leaving with some consternation. “Stay!” squeaked one. “Don’t go!” moaned another. “You’re the best head teacher ever in the history of the civilised world!” There was a small outbreak of mass-chanting and standing ovations. “Nobody likes their head teacher that much,” muttered PLA Jr in disgust.

esther lula waterloo roadMeanwhile, Daniela Nardini has been shamefully under-used as Esther, the animal rights activist science teacher whose master plan consisted of inspiring Lula to acts of random and ineffective sabotage. Lula’s latest plan was to throw acid at Lorraine Donnegan, but Esther guessed what she was up to and intercepted the attack, getting a nasty burn on her hand for her trouble and then getting arrested.

Carol Barry turned up to try to persuade Dynasty that she’d be better off living at Barry Towers than with Master Kevin Chalk. Dynasty disagrees, so Carol has turned to the highest power in the country – Julian Noble. Who he? Well, basically Jeremy Kyle by the sound of things. The Barry dirty laundry is due to be aired via the medium of daytime TV next week. Can’t wait.

Posted by PLA          (More Waterloo Road here)

7 Comments

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7 responses to “Waterloo Road: Maddest ever episode. And it’s not even the end of term

  1. remotecontrolled

    If I’m not mistaken didn’t Daniela Nardini do a runner? Maybe I just misinterpreted the excellent use of electronic whiteboard. Lula was terrifying in this episode! No doubt next week she will be normal and forget everything about it. SO glad to see the back of Michael and Lorraine really. Both had just run down my interest – and a limited interest at that. I thought Nikki was brilliant in this episode – of all of the corny speeches hers was definitely the best – delivered with hardly a cringe. I did like the fact that Michael didn’t turn Lorraine with his fluff as he catalogued all of the characters who came from Rochdale. I can’t believe they appointed Christine while Tom was still there. I kinda hoped it would be after he’d gone so it wasn’t a direct snub. Right – my my they do shove a lot in don’t they! Really enjoying this series anyway! Hope it’s not anti-climactic ending now that we’ve had such a finale-esque pen-penultimate.

    • pauseliveaction

      Ah, you may be right about Ms Nardini. I was just dazzled by Tom Clarkson’s firm-jawed insistence on Justice I expect. Personally I will miss Lorraine, her unusual fashion sense and her commitment to dropping H’s wherever they be found. Let’s ‘ope she finds ‘appiness, gawd bless ‘er. But Michael Byrne – good riddance, dull man.

      • remotecontrolled (kopitron)

        I certainly preferred Lorraine to Michael and do really like DDA but the character really got on my wick at times. Must admit, I quite liked her in yesterday’s ep but could be cos I knew it was her last! Don’t think they could have done much more with her either.

  2. Mr Donnelly

    How can Scout be in her first year of teacher training when there hasn’t been time yet for her to have completed three years at university?

  3. holbylover819

    My dad: Kids don’t care who their head teacher is.
    Me: Noo Lorraine! WHAT ABOUT NIKKI! TURN AROUND, EXPRESS YOUR DAMN FEELINGS!!!
    Also, I’m still a bit confused as to why Michael left seeing as he got what he wanted. We didn’t even get to see Lorraine’s red Ferrari again.

  4. Dreamer

    If it were my principal leaving way back when, I’d have gladly laid out the red carpet out the door for him. But alas, we had to put up with him randomly coming to our GCSE English lessons and reciting Mark Antony’s speech/other Shakespearean works.

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