(Series 8, Ep.28) There was rather an end-of-term feel to this episode, what with the inspirational speeches, the mass staff resignations, the change of head teacher and the thwarted acid attack. But there are still a couple of episodes of madness to go before we can hang up our lab coats and bin our pencil cases for this series.
Michael Byrne was seeking to get the local council to take over Waterloo Road from right under the nose of Cockney Lorraine, who was determined to turn the school into the fee-paying Lorraine Donnegan Institute of Excellence (L-DIE). This was the episode where Lorraine (dress code: Bible black) went completely power-crazed and was practically twirling an invisible moustache, so determined was she to get Scotland’s most surreal school on a profit-making footing and bask in glory and cash. Any teacher who didn’t agree with her Vision of the Future was welcome to collect their P45, she announced. Maggie the Dinnerlady said she’d stay, what with having Grantly to look after and that, but Lorraine didn’t want her. Frankly Maggie’s approach to power dressing would have entirely downgraded the promotional brochure and Lorraine wasn’t having any of that kind of thing. The teachers with integrity (practically all of them, given that they were drawn to Waterloo Road by the prospect of Helping These Kids) all said they’d leave.
Luckily, in the opposing corner to Lozza was Michael Byrne, looking as sorrowful as ever and reminding Lorraine that before she was International Businesswoman of the Century she’d been almost as rough as Dynasty Barry. Eventually the council decided they’d take on the school, and they wanted Jane Beale to be head teacher. She is, of course, the perfect choice. She may be a just-barely-recovering alcoholic who only a few weeks ago was too pissed to remember who wrote Pride and Prejudice and who spent her down-time battering her pale son, but at least we know about all that and there won’t be any nasty Rachel Mason-type secrets waiting to crawl out of the woodwork. The assembled seven speaking pupils and a dozen non-speaking extras heard the announcement of Michael Byrne leaving with some consternation. “Stay!” squeaked one. “Don’t go!” moaned another. “You’re the best head teacher ever in the history of the civilised world!” There was a small outbreak of mass-chanting and standing ovations. “Nobody likes their head teacher that much,” muttered PLA Jr in disgust.
Meanwhile, Daniela Nardini has been shamefully under-used as Esther, the animal rights activist science teacher whose master plan consisted of inspiring Lula to acts of random and ineffective sabotage. Lula’s latest plan was to throw acid at Lorraine Donnegan, but Esther guessed what she was up to and intercepted the attack, getting a nasty burn on her hand for her trouble and then getting arrested.
Carol Barry turned up to try to persuade Dynasty that she’d be better off living at Barry Towers than with Master Kevin Chalk. Dynasty disagrees, so Carol has turned to the highest power in the country – Julian Noble. Who he? Well, basically Jeremy Kyle by the sound of things. The Barry dirty laundry is due to be aired via the medium of daytime TV next week. Can’t wait.
Posted by PLA (More Waterloo Road here)