(Series 8, Ep.12 & 13) In last week’s slice of our favourite hyper-realistic school-based drama, Phoenix and Harley won £200,000 on the Lottery. A life-changing sum of money, as Noel Edmonds would call it. It certainly changed Phoenix and Harley’s lives. They started riding around in a stretch limo and wearing “look at me” trainers, just to show how loaded they were. It was all a slim excuse to get rid of Phoenix, who’s taken his big hair to live with his dad and invest his money and his time, in the family business. Harley, meanwhile, donated his share of the cash to good causes in Africa (bless!) and is donating his time to Waterloo Road for now.
Last week we also saw the unreal spectacle of Michael Byrne (who is not being sent dahn for hastening his father’s exit from the planet) actually having fun, via the medium of paddling in the sea trying to fish out Jane Beale’s course outlines. That’s course, not coarse.
There wasn’t much action from the Barry family at all last week, but this week the focus shifted to Dynasty Barry and her future as a pole dancer. But she can’t even speak Polish! I hear you cry. Maybe not, but she is very, very good at English Literature and produced an A* essay. Obviously wasted on the world of sleazy clubs and breast enhancements, but it took quite a lot of effort from Emo Imogen and the teacher with the little face to persuade her of the fact. It took even more effort to persuade Ma Barry. Beautiful work from Zoe Lucker as Carol Barry, who does common-as-muck like she was born to it.
Barry Barry, meanwhile, was adding to his extensive stolen car collection by “obtaining” Cockney Lorraine’s Ferrari, with a little help from sister Kacey. Lorraine isn’t pointing the finger at Barry, though, because Nikki Boston firmly believes that Scout is the one who stole her car a couple of weeks ago, and therefore Scout is in the frame for the Ferrari as well.
Nikki Boston’s treatment of Scout contravenes all sorts of rules and regulations. Basically, she’s a bully. Tom Clarkson, a man whose depth of human understanding is even deeper than the deep, deep blue of his eyes, has an inkling that Scout is being victimised. He gave her a little voice recorder so she can record her lessons and play them back in her own good time (she daren’t ask Nikki Boston to repeat herself), and this will no doubt come in handy as evidence at some point.
Emo Imogen and Pale-Eyed Connor eventually made up, after she’d been made up by Dynasty Barry. A bit of blusher did wonders for her, and a pep talk from Kevin did wonders for Connor. I wish Dynasty would turn her style eye on Connor, though. That boy needs a haircut badly.
His mother probably hasn’t noticed, because now she isn’t spending all her time hiding bottles of vodka in desk drawers she has time for romance. With Michael Byrne, no less. Poor Jane Beale.
Next time: Wouldn’t you know it? Jane Beale’s estranged husband turns up. No, not Ian. This is a different programme.
Posted by PLA (more Waterloo Road here)