(Series 14, ep.51) Have you noticed how people on TV have really tidy desk drawers? Typically the top drawer of any given TV desk will contain a few sheets of paper and One Thing important to the character or plot. If the character is an alcoholic, the One Thing will be a bottle of whisky. If they’re a bit dodgy, it’ll be a gun. If they’re worried they might be pregnant, it will be a pregnancy test in a large pink box. If they’ve recently removed a huge nail from their own abdomen, it’ll be a suture kit. But more of that later.
This episode had been hotly anticipated. The trailers looked tense – Hanssen kidnapped in the back of a van in the hospital car park by the son of the late Nice Mr Mooney, crazed with grief and after retribution. There were bottles of inflammable liquids and a lighter. There was a nasty-looking nail gun. But in the end, that part of the story wasn’t very tense at all, because for tense you need someone who’s looking scared, and Hanssen was as cool as could be. Little George Binns was flying the flag for “tense” and “scared” elsewhere, though.
This is not to say the episode wasn’t magnificent, because it was, just not in the way the trailers had led me to believe. It was magnificent because Hanssen was magnificent. He has balls of Swedish steel and practically embodies the phrase “grace under pressure.” When he was accidentally shot in the abdomen by the aforementioned nasty nail gun, did he crash to the car park floor gasping, “We need some help here?” No, he did not. He calmly pulled it out with some pliers, pulled his jacket over the blood stain and hijacked a camera crew to film a public apology to Mr Mooney Jr. And then he calmly opened his desk drawer, took out a suture kit and repaired his own wound. Bravo.
Jac’s desk drawer was the one with the pregnancy testing kit. There was relief all round when it proved to be negative. Or was there? I’m sure I saw a trace of regret cross the brow of Holby’s snappiest surgeon. All I can say is, if she’s feeling the tick of the biological clock she should get herself to Penrith. I’ve warmed to Jonny Mac, but Joseph is the only man for her.
Meanwhile, Sacha told Chrissie he thought they should get married quickly to save on tax. It would be prudent and expedient, he told her. “Prudent and expedient,” sniffed Chrissie. “The words a girl longs to hear.” I am with Chrissie on this one. So Sacha went in for the big gesture and got Chantelle to hang a huge banner proclaiming his love out of a high window. This was enough to put a smile back on Chrissie’s face, but she’s told him she doesn’t want a big wedding. She wants low key. But next week, Sacha’s female relatives get involved. Can the key stay low?
Also next time: Eddi’s Camoxidan habit is becoming a problem (Zzzzzz…) and Tara and Oli are in love (Ahhhhh…)