(Series 14, Ep.33) It’s not like your humble correspondent to be lost for Holby words, but I find myself in that position this week. To be honest, my attention wandered onto such topics as whether to try shampooing the cat (she’s a tad elderly and has given up on grooming) and whether the Queen is looking forward to her jubilee or just wishes everyone would shut up about how old she is (she’s a tad elderly, but unlike the cat has not yet given up on grooming).
These “meh” Holby episodes do happen along once in a while and I don’t particularly worry about them (I’m sure there’ll be another good one along in a week or so). What I do worry about is Jonny “Smug Face” Maconie, who I see has been installed in the opening title sequence and must therefore be considered a permanent fixture (or as permanent as cast members get on Holby these days). There’s something about him that makes me want to slap him with a nice, fat wad of patient files – if only Holby hadn’t gone paperless. I suspect slapping him with an iPad wouldn’t feel so satisfying.
Following last week’s unseemly behaviour in the store room, both Jac and Jonny seemed keen for a repeat. Some poor cleaner or other had worked hard to get those bedpans neatly piled up, as well. It didn’t happen, though, due to timing issues caused by patients (they are so inconvenient). I can only assume Jonny has some amazing woman-pleasing tricks up his sleeve (ok, they’re maybe not actually up his sleeve), because I see no other reason for his appeal at all.
Malick got slightly run over at the start of the episode and this might have accounted for his subsequent mad behaviour when he brought a child with a back injury into Keller without any spinal precautions and without contemplating for long that A&E was really the best place to take him, what with them having an adorable paediatric trauma specialist and all (ah, the lovely Dr Tom Kent. Now there’s a man worth Jac’s attention). It was the usual case of surgeons (Malick and Serena) disagreeing over how to treat a patient, and Malick did a spot of ninja-level surgery after first doing some rather Sahira Shah-like emoting. What’s happened to his Clinical Skills Tsar job? Where are the Malickites these days? They’re probably wandering around the basement lost. They won’t be seen again until Oliver Valentine has his next emotional crisis and has to go down there to sit in the Penny Valentine Memorial Pondering Position. His pondering will be cut short when a troupe of hollow-eyed, emaciated medical students staggers past, in search of their beloved mentor.
Meanwhile, on AAU, Sacha was back at work. His powers of recovery are quite fabulous. That’s what quiche does for you. His daughter Rachel turned up with a sore tummy. Was it appendicitis? Was it psychological trauma because her dad had recently been stabbed? Or was it an attempt to avoid an exam? Not too sure, to be honest. I totally lost interest in that storyline, which seemed to involve Chrissie looming over the poor girl’s bed giving her a death stare every five minutes.
Next time: Serena’s daughter turns up drunk and on drugs. And Tara puts her career – and Oliver’s – at risk for a patient.
Posted by PLA (more Holby here)