(Series 7, Ep.26) When you go for a job as a teacher at Waterloo Road they sit you in front of the interview panel with a cup of tea and a custard cream and they ask, “What do you know about boundaries and the pupil/teacher relationship?” If you shrug your shoulders, look blank and fill the ensuing awkward silence by dunking your biscuit in your tea – you’ve got the job. I swear that’s the only explanation for the entirely thick behaviour Jez Diamond displayed this week – has he not learned the lessons of Ms Montoya and Jonah, or Chris Mead and [insert name of just about any female pupil here]?
Guest Pupil of the Week was Mercedes, who runs as fast as the car that shares her name, at least over short distances. PE teacher and ex footballer Jez was thrilled to be able to mentor such a promising athlete, but it ended in tears when she twisted her ankle during a so-called “fun run” (those two words should never be found so close together in my opinion). Despite numerous WR pupils jogging past who could have summoned Tom Clarkson in his little red car, Jez decided the only thing for it was to help Mercedes limp back to her conveniently adjacent home. Where of course she pounced on him, and of course her brother came back and Drew Conclusions, and Jez got suspended. Mercedes is a nice girl and fessed up that she hadn’t really been molested by the Diamond geezer, but he has to stay suspended anyway, for being a daft chump. And Sian dumped him, too.
Meanwhile, the fun run had “stirred up a hornet’s nest,” according to Michael, frowning as usual. “I think we might have invited a turf war into the school.” Gosh, how dramatic. So far, it’s been a fairly small scale turf war – basically a couple of lads squaring up to Kyle Stack and Tariq. What Jez in his football days might have called “handbags at dawn.” But in a school of only 15 speaking pupils and a handful of silent extras, a lot of mayhem can be caused by handbags.
I didn’t blog about Waterloo Road last week, because time sort of escaped me and it was time for the next episode before I’d managed to do it. So I’d just like to say how beautifully Philip Martin Brown and Lorraine Cheshire played the story of Fleur’s death. It was genuinely moving. This week, everyone agreed he’d come back to work too soon, but it took Harley reading something he’d written about his Nan to make Grantly realise he needed to give himself time to grieve. Philip Martin Brown is a marvellous actor and the tension in his face when Harley was reading was incredible, as he tried to keep his Grumpy Grantly face from giving away how he was feeling.
Lauren wanted to know how Our Josh was feeling, because he hadn’t been at school. She popped round to see him. He told her he had schizophrenia, but it was ok because he had some pills for it. He didn’t seem unwell, Lauren observed. He agreed, and they decided he maybe didn’t need those pills after all. Oh, Josh. Next week’s preview would seem to indicate that coming off those pills was not a sensible plan.
Is it a sensible plan for Janeece to get married to the handyman she’s known for five minutes who seems a little too insistent that he’s not interested in the contents of her savings account? And when did Janeece manage to accrue savings, going as she did from party girl to single mum in one fell swoop? And is it a sensible plan for them to get married in an ice rink? This last point is obviously not sensible at all, but it is very, very Janeece. The wedding is next week and I can’t wait.
And Trudi dumped Finn. It’s because she doesn’t want to tell him she’s pregnant and is planning to not be pregnant soon. But she has told her sister, who thinks Finn has a right to know. I’m sensing one of those “desperate dash to the abortion clinic”-type scenes looming.
Posted by PLA (see more Waterloo Road posts)