The X Factor: We did it

*High Five* we did it. We got to the end of the series. A feat made all the more amazing given that the producers make it as hard as possible for us to finally crown a bleedin’ winner. Personally I felt like I spent my whole weekend watching X Factor.

This year’s final was a struggle, wasn’t it? I mean the production was all very nice but, when push comes to shove, Marcus was just singing on a bad reproduction of the Pan Am set. So far, so zeitgeisty and Amelia was just marching around some sort of deranged princess in super-unflattering pink Doc Martens.

The Saturday song choices were quite strange as well. I have no idea why Marcus was encouraged to sing Hey Ya. It’s really fast, has lots of words in each phrase and it was pitched really weirdly. He sounded terrible in the choruses. It’s like someone wanted him to lose.

Little Mix became the millionth people to sing You Got The Love on TV and made me a bit sad inside as I hate any remix of this amazing classic. Well, that’s not entirely true. I hate the Florence version but I don’t mind the version they sang. Though to be honest what they were singing was irrelevant as it was overshadowed by The Furbys outfit. Ripped jeans? Really? Jesus actually wept. Who on earth thought that would be flattering?

Amelia Lily got to stomp and shout during Aint No Other Man so she must have been in her element. This was an ok song choice but odd staging. I got the feeling that the X Factor producers got overexcited, booked Wembley and then had to just fill the space anyway they could. More often than not they went with tons of dancers.

When we moved on to the duets, Marcus again had a weird song. It may be special to his mum but it was just boring. To be fair to him he did rock a nice vocal. As I’ve said before, he always excels when he can just belt out a tune and that’s what he did with Gary going plinky plonk on the old Joanna.

Little Mix and Tulisa took that shit up a notch and did a nice Alisha Keys mash-up thing starting with I Aint Got You and ending with Empire State of Mind. Tulisa was a bit cheeky with this performance as there were points where she effectively relegated Little Mix to being her backing singers. However it was good and suited the girls and their style.

Amelia-Lily and Kelly was a strange one because it really seemed like Kelly wasn’t bringing her A game. Seriously, at points she was well off. There is no way Matthew Knowles would accept such a lacklustre performance. She obviously needs him back in her life. There were moments where Amelia was out-singing her, and that is not ideal. Even though I’m annoyed as I always had River Deep, Mountain High in mind for my final song it was a good choice for Amelia and she did it well. Weirdly though, this wasn’t enough and the public picked Marcus to join Little Mix in the final. The actual final I mean. Sunday’s show. The one where we actually get a winner. Saturdays show was like a warm-up, a semi.

The ‘final’ final is always a bit annoying, in my opinion. It lasts too long, they sing crappy versions of carols and we’re made to hear two versions of the same song, as if we haven’t suffered enough. The only good bit is that the contestants get to pick and re-perform their favourite song. This provides an interesting window into their mind as we get to see if they are at all in tune with the public and what we liked. Little Mix chose Don’t Let Go. They couldn’t really choose anything else. This performance was when people started taking notice of them as more than just a talented version of The Saturdays and started to think they could actually win. If you remember, this performance came right after Gary was giving them gyp for being too predictable so they rocked out an RnB classic to make him shut his massive tweed-wearing mouth.

Marcus did Higher and Higher. No idea why, I guess he must have just like the razzmatazz of being surrounded by a choir. I really don’t think this was his best performance of the series. Interestingly it comes from the same episode as Little Mix’s choice. Actually, that isn’t interesting. Sorry. Personally I think Marcus did it better than he did the first time. That boy does love a big finish.

After all the singing, the drama and repeated shots of Kitty’s cameltoe, Little Mix were crowned this year’s winner. Good luck to them. They deserve it. I just hope all the stories you hear of terrible day rates and no control over song choices aren’t true. It’d be nice to have some relatively normal girls hanging about the charts. Though I’m pretty sure that they’ll all be size 6 with blonde highlights before long.

Posted by Sabrina Francis

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