Holby City: The bird has flown and the cat is out of the bag

(Series 14, Ep.7) Way back in April I said that Chrissie couldn’t possibly marry Dan Hamilton, because then she’d be Christine Hamilton (don’t anyone spoil my fun by telling me Chrissie is a Christina). If that was the only reason not to marry Dan Hamilton, Chrissie would be laughing all the way to the registry office. But there’s also the inconvenient truth that he’s (a) dull and (b) a bit gay. These truths have only remained hidden for so long because Chrissie, bless her, is (c) a bit thick.

After Irish Dr Greg spotted Dull Dan and Gay Nurse Stephen enjoying an intimate moment in the car park (not Malick/locker room type of intimate – not in the car park!) Dan knew he was on borrowed time. What you absolutely don’t want in such a precarious situation is for an old friend to turn up, and for her to turn out to be a blabbermouth alcoholic who enjoyed winding Chrissie up. “He hasn’t looked you in the eye all day,” she told The Future Mrs Hamilton. All year, more like. Dull Dan’s eyes are always gently gazing somewhere in the distance, as though he’s contemplating a set of rugby goalposts from the far end of the field. When Chrissie had an odd discussion with someone who was supposed to be Dan’s best man at the wedding, she realised there was something fishy going on, and she wanted to thrash it out on the Staircase of Secrets. And Dull Dan finally admitted that he does indeed have a roving eye, and not only does it rove to the far end of the rugby field, it has also probably roved to the far ends of a few rugby players over the years. In other words, Chrissie may not be man enough for him.  

Casualty’s lovely nurse Tess Bateman once spent an entire episode impaled on a metal spike. What Casualty can do, Holby can trump. Two people impaled on the same metal spike (as each other, not as the one Tess Bateman was impaled on. That would be a ridiculous coincidence). It was a father and son human kebab tragedy, and it fell to Sahira Shah the Registrah to sort it out. She needed general surgeon-type help, and she needed the best. Ric Griffin! Er, no. She needed Henrik Hanssen, but it took a bit of persuading to get him to come out of his luxury office, where he has his fruit bowl and his little bird in its cage (quite tame) and his lovely view of the Hollywood of Hertfordshire. Then they couldn’t agree about the way to proceed with the case. I think she ended up being right, but I do somewhat glaze over and my eyes unfocus in a Dull Dan style whenever Sahira is on the screen, so I can’t be sure. What I can be sure about is that the bird metaphor has literally flown. Hanssen opened his window and let the wee greenfinch soar across the Borehamwood rooftops. It was a beautiful moment. Another thing I can be sure about is Guy Henry’s marvellously subtle acting skills. The way he manages to convey that a man who buttons his raincoat right up to the top and carries himself so formally is just crazy in love with a woman he can’t have – well, it’s masterful.

Elsewhere, Michael Spence was looking a bit grizzled. Was he growing facial hair for Movember, or was it to illustrate his inner turmoil and lack of sleep? He looked pretty good, anyway. Though his facial hair does come out rather greyer than his head hair, which leads me to believe that Hari Dhillon is no stranger to the Grecian 2000. This week he was sorting out a previous patient, who was possibly suffering from a leakage in one of Bhatti’s batch of bogus boobs. Only she wasn’t, and Michael managed to sort out whatever it was she was suffering from, because he’s actually a genius doctor. Even The Malick gazes at him in admiration, and you have to be doing well to impress the man with the biggest ego in the NHS.

Next time: Chrissie ponders a future with Dull Dan (run, girl, run!).

Posted by PLA          (more Holby City here)


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13 responses to “Holby City: The bird has flown and the cat is out of the bag

  1. WaterlooVamps

    Thank the Lord that Dan has finally admitted that he’s ‘a bit’ gay. and come on Sahira, you don’t NEED Hanssen’s help. “The Swede get a taste of his own medicine” classic Greg. Poor guy, you must have noticed the little frown when Sahira left the room after she told him she might be leaving. I nearly cried when he let the bird go (partly because I’m emotional and partly because the bird is soooooo cute!). Come on Freida and jac – come back to us!!!!

    • pauseliveaction

      It wouldn’t have been so emotional if the bird had been a frog, as you originally thought. It wouldn’t have coped half as well being liberated from the window, either.

  2. inkface

    “It was a father and son human kebab tragedy” I doff my sou’wester to you PLA. You have a lovely way with words and no mistake.

  3. Nikki

    What a wonderful long review this week PLA! And so many catchphrases my brain could hardly keep up! The Staircase of Secrets is a new one isnt it? To add to the Window of Regret, Window of Contemplation and my very own one, the Linden Cullen Memorial Garden of Doom (something bad always happens there doesnt it). I’m so glad Dan finally told her the truth – I really didnt think he would. I thought he’d come up with some other near-secret to pacify her with. So fair play. In a way. Took him long enough. I can understand her being a bit dazed and confused about the whole thing. Seeing as shes been (BLIND!!) oblivious until now.

    Michael looked decidedly older with his grey beard. Bless. You havent heard any word of Hari Dhillon leaving have you PLA? I’m wondering if something flashy will happen at the end of his 3 months notice and Hanssen will want to keep him again or something. Seeing as we know Sahira Shah the Registraaaahhhh is leaving I cant bring myself to really care about her storylines. But I havent read about Michael anywhere so.

    I miss Jac and Frieda. Witty lines and steely glares were decidedly lacking this week. Its so airy fairy flouncey without them! I’ll never understand how that Cardiac Trauma Unit malarkey went to SSTR when shes a registrar – and Jacs a consultant. Surely a father-son kebab tradegy would warrant Consultant level ninja-skills? (It even warrants a phone-call to Connie for advice, but that may be stretching things a bit).

  4. VickyO

    Och, come on Hanssen. Grow a pair. Trust the brilliant, sarcastic, interesting one to obsess over the irritating, hissy-fit-throwing, party-pooping one. It’s about time this storyline was wrapped up, isn’t it? And about time we got a glimpse of the man behind the mask, as it were, beyond the unrequited longing for the registraaaah, oh boo hoo.

    And kudos for the “human kebab tragedy”. Top notch, PLA.

  5. Dawnk

    I am convinced that Hanssen is Sahira’s husband no matter how they try to keep it secret. It would explain so much.

    • pauseliveaction

      I thought so for ages, but she keeps getting texts from someone called Rafi, who is apparently her husband. A shame, as I liked the idea of them being married.

  6. HolbyNut

    Now, I know ‘we’ don’t like Dan but I actually thought he was quite good during his ‘Staircase of Secrets’ revelation. And Chrissie was blissfully ‘ignorant’ until we could almost hear that penny click during her moment of realisation.
    Can’t wait for your comments on Hanssen and Jac’s banter in the next episode….

  7. WaterlooVamps

    Where’s next week’s review?

  8. Maria

    I really donot believe that Hanssen is Sahira’s husband after all we now know he is called Ravi. Perhaps that is his out of work pseudonym for hubbie. I think not!!
    Also so not loving the black flashers rain mac…perhaps Chantelle was right all along to carry that can of mace!
    How can a man so sylishly dressed end up in a mac like that? Perhaps he won it when he bought the Volvo?
    The mind boggles. Holby City wardrobe dept…………please get with it.