(Series 14, Ep.7) Way back in April I said that Chrissie couldn’t possibly marry Dan Hamilton, because then she’d be Christine Hamilton (don’t anyone spoil my fun by telling me Chrissie is a Christina). If that was the only reason not to marry Dan Hamilton, Chrissie would be laughing all the way to the registry office. But there’s also the inconvenient truth that he’s (a) dull and (b) a bit gay. These truths have only remained hidden for so long because Chrissie, bless her, is (c) a bit thick.
After Irish Dr Greg spotted Dull Dan and Gay Nurse Stephen enjoying an intimate moment in the car park (not Malick/locker room type of intimate – not in the car park!) Dan knew he was on borrowed time. What you absolutely don’t want in such a precarious situation is for an old friend to turn up, and for her to turn out to be a blabbermouth alcoholic who enjoyed winding Chrissie up. “He hasn’t looked you in the eye all day,” she told The Future Mrs Hamilton. All year, more like. Dull Dan’s eyes are always gently gazing somewhere in the distance, as though he’s contemplating a set of rugby goalposts from the far end of the field. When Chrissie had an odd discussion with someone who was supposed to be Dan’s best man at the wedding, she realised there was something fishy going on, and she wanted to thrash it out on the Staircase of Secrets. And Dull Dan finally admitted that he does indeed have a roving eye, and not only does it rove to the far end of the rugby field, it has also probably roved to the far ends of a few rugby players over the years. In other words, Chrissie may not be man enough for him. Continue reading