(Series 13, Ep.50) Darwin’s operating theatres are no longer ringing to the cheery buzz of sternum saws and bitchy banter as hearts are repaired and pulses are restored. Instead, they’ve recently been echoing with the slap of leaky breast implants being flung into metal dishes.
This is what happens when you let plastic surgeons use your lovely, shiny CT facilities, and particularly when the surgeons are as plastic as Plastic Bhatti and his little sidekick Mikey. This is a bit unfair on Mikey (aka Michael Spence) of course. He loves the money and the flash watches and the glamour of plastic surgery, but he also likes helping people, weird old-fashioned thing that he is. In some ways, he’s even a tad naive. He certainly didn’t see Plastic Bhatti for the slimeball that he is, until he realised the depths to which he’ll sink. With Sahira circling the corridors clutching a box of dodgy boobs (“Unauthorised for UK use,” apparently), Michael expected the wrath of Hanssen to descend on the plastics department – but what he didn’t expect was to be totally shafted by his mate Sunil (who refers to this as “crisis management”) and left to take all the blame. This resulted in what we might term an “uneasy” meeting between Michael and Hanssen. You know a meeting is not going well when Hanssen has to use his Outdoor Voice.
Meanwhile, we had an entire episode of FLNT looking particularly morose, as she tried to make her dying mother tell her why she abused her as a child. “She hates me!” she wailed at Ric or Chantelle, one of whom was at her shoulder almost constantly during the episode (poor Ric’s sole function for the last few weeks has been to materialise sympathetically behind FLNT at moments of crisis). Frankly FLNT would try the patience of a saint. Chantelle must be well above sainthood, as she remained smiling and supportive no matter how much gloom was thrown her way. I’m thoroughly relieved that FLNT has apparently decided to leave Holby. She will not be missed, by me anyway. And it’s lucky that La-Charne Jolly has escaped from the role while she’s still young and before those frown lines became so permanent that she’d need industrial quantities of Botox to get rid of them.
Last week, the formerly mega-professional Eddi went all unprofessional by getting too close to paraplegic snowboarder Josh. This week she was all unprofessional in the way she tried to be professional by ignoring him. The poor lad ended up in the physio room on his own, trying to improve his upper body strength and ending up rupturing his spleen (which I impressed PLA Jr by diagnosing the moment he hit the floor – you don’t watch Holby for all these years without knowing a minor yet important character isn’t just going to fall and bruise himself).
Next time: The episode is called “Oliver Twists.” He must choose between medicine and a lucrative job offer, apparently. I bet he has one of his brilliant days and chooses medicine. And Hanssen asks Sahira to get to the bottom of the dodgy implants (like she hasn’t enough stress already. My trauma unit! My lovely child Indy! My mascara!).
Posted by PLA (more Holby City here)