Waterloo Road: A totally realistic episode

(Series 7, Ep.12)  We’ve come to expect Waterloo Road to take quite a few liberties with reality. “That would never happen in a real school” is a frequent refrain. We love it anyway, because the liberties usually fit the story, and the stories are generally gripping and the acting’s almost always fantastic, so we can forgive the odd lapse in realism.

But last night’s episode was just silly. Let’s start with Michael Byrne’s A level recruitment drive. Are we really expected to believe that a school would let its pupils make choices about their A levels based on a five minute presentation about how “All computer games start with maths” or “All science is just like CSI”? No matter what your aptitude or your GCSE subjects or results?

Then there was that dreadful “inspirational” speech by Michael Byrne himself, in which his description of how reading a book changed the entire direction of his life (he didn’t tell us which book it was. Maybe it was Catcher in the Rye, maybe it was Teaching for Dummies, who knows?) Any real teenager of my acquaintance would have just sniggered, if they weren’t too busy texting.

It didn’t take Matt Wilding long to come up with a scheme to bring people together in musical harmony which would result in sulks, strops and theft. In this case it was starting up a school orchestra. He displayed one of each instrument in his classroom and invited people to have a go. This was meant to fire them with a passion for playing the cello/harpsichord/whatever. But the point with most instruments is you can’t pick them up and get a decent sound out of them without a lot of practice and probably some lessons from someone who actually knows how to play them. Hence, there weren’t many (any) takers for the tuba and everyone wanted a guitar or a drumkit. Well, of course they did. The problem was, there was only one of each. Scout got the sulks because she couldn’t have a guitar, so Denzil stole one for her.

We’ve swallowed all that, but are we really supposed to believe that Ronan Burley has saved up enough money from a Saturday job on a market stall to be able to afford to rent a rather swanky flat with en suite bedroom? We always knew he was a younger and far better looking Sir Lord Baron Alan Sugar, but really.

Plotwise, Jez Diamond’s kids, Madi Diamond and Zack Diamond, were dumped on him by his ex-wife. He might have walked out on his marriage, but his ex-wife reminded him that Diamonds are forever and not just for Christmas. Zack seems nice enough, but that Madi is a bit of a handful. I particularly liked her trick of harvesting hair from the hairbrush to put in the soup. The highlight of the evening was seeing Janeece cough this up like a cat expelling a furball. She’s a classy act, that Janeece.

And Michael Byrne tried to get big haired brothers Phoenix and Harley to bond with their dad, loveable comedian John Thomson.

Posted by PLA          (more Waterloo Road here)

13 Comments

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13 responses to “Waterloo Road: A totally realistic episode

  1. remotecontrolled

    Haha, all so true! Other things I noticed was it seems a bit odd to be choosing A-Levels at the begining of a new year. Should they not have kind of made those choices you know, before the term starts? May explain why Ronan and Vicki are the only two year 13s in the school and resorting to hanging out with all people from the year below.
    Also seemed a little cliquey for the Diamonds to only invite cast regulars to their dinner party.

    Shining moment for me was Matt Wilding’s food spit. The dinner party scene really was hilarious all other things aside 😀

    Looking forward to Sarah Hadland joining the cast! They need another female teacher otherwise Tom Clarkson may have to have to face celibate series!

  2. Velocity Girl

    “Diamonds are forever” may possibly be my joke of the year, across any medium!

  3. WaterlooVamps

    Ronan and Vicki = aw, sweet! Ronan and Vicki getting married and having a “pad” = marriage made in hell, like Chrissie and Dan from Holby, it’s just not going to work! It was all, slip of the tongue from Ronan, mad glare from Vicki, desperate apology from Ronan. They’re loved up, but deep down inside, I know (and this makes me sad) she can’t stand him half the time. It’s definitely better than last week, though, and I’ll definitely keep watching, just to see what happens between Denz and Scout, because she obviously currs about him.

    • pauseliveaction

      How could anyone not stand Ronan? Just the sight of his face makes me smile, and I love his cheeky chappie with a heart character. But I fear you’re right – Vicki thinks she could do better, doesn’t she? That’s why she so easily went off with Aidan Scotcher. Who will never be half the man that Ronan is.

      • Paul

        That’s why she so easily went off with Aidan Scotcher. Who will never be half the man that Ronan is.

        btw – didn’t Scotcher and Scotcher senior decide to hang around and make a go of things, instead of running away from all of their problems like they did before? Or have I remembered that wrong?

        Which really makes it even more weird that super-caretaker and son are not around any more, and no-one ever mentions them now….

        My favourite new characters are the sassy muslim girl who fancies Finn and her psycho brother…

  4. WaterlooVamps

    I know, poor Ronan, if I had Ronan I would think I was a lucky girl, make the most of him, Vik! Shame, because I really liked Vicki and she’s probably the smartest girl ever at the “failing” school, but I can’t remember, she said she didn’t want to be a scientist in the end didn’t she? No she just wants to work in a supermarket instead of being a scientist. I don’t think she’s thinking straight at the moment.

  5. WaterlooVamps

    OH GOD! Did you read the digital spy spoilers? It says stressed-out Vicki and Ronan are having some problems (duh) and Sian starts to think Ronan is hitting his girlfriend! No way our Ronan would ever do that, if only she knew what he’d done for her…

  6. Gwen

    The episode was totally silly, but I absolutely loved it. I confess my girl crush on the lovely Jaye Jacobs is partly at work here, but I adore Sian already. I want her to leave Jez and his family baggage and run into Michael’s waiting arms.

    I think that Vicki will get focused on her future and grow apart from Ronan. As sweet as Ronan is, I think that either of us are ready for everything involved in a marriage, etc.

    Gwen

    • pauseliveaction

      Sian is marvellous, way too good for Jez but way too good for Michael, surely? Maybe she can be Tom Clarkson’s Romance Of The Term?

      • remotecontrolled

        Well it’s going to have to be her or Sarah Hadland! Maybe a weird love square between Clarkson, Michael, Jez and Sian…then they pair off and have true WR scandal!

    • Carla

      So do I Gwen! There’s still hope though, even though she is back with Jez! I reckon she only went back to him out of guilt!

  7. Nikki

    Perhaps I should start watching this now Donna *coughs* Sorry, whatever Jaye Jacobs new character is, is in it.

    PLA, do you find it weird this show has a Byrne in it too? Its not the most common of names and yet …. Joseph Byrne …. Michael Byrne …. *is weirded out*

    • pauseliveaction

      Yes, I did find that strange. I’m highy attuned to anyone called Byrne (sighs in a “missing Joseph” sort of way). I also think that it’s funny that Joseph was played by someone called Luke, and the new registrar Luc is being played by someone called Joseph. Maybe I need to get out more…

      You should watch Waterloo Road. Half the cast have been in Holby at some time or other, so you’ll feel right at home.

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