Kick ass women: Fiona Glenanne

I can’t believe that we haven’t worshipped the kick-assness of Burn Notice’s Fi before now. If she knew we’d probably be locked in the trunk of her car right now…

So let’s put things right before she notices.

You want something blowing up? Fiona’s your woman. You want someone shooting? Make sure Fi’s number is in your cellphone. You need a babysitter? Wait, don’t go – she can even charm small boys. (Fi: [playing with plastic army men with wide-eyed boy] “Hmm, my guy has an M2 Browning 50 caliber. It’s a belt-fed weapon, so it’s big and hard to hide, but it’s got good range though. So I think he would shoot from up here. Let me see your guy. Okay, your guy has a Mark 2 Pineapple Fragmentation grenade. Short range. So he needs a really, really good hiding place. [looking all around] In the flower pot. Let’s see if we can get you some more tactical support. [dumps rest of toys on floor]”)

She loves Michael fiercely and woe betide anyone who threatens to harm him. There’s pretty much nothing she wouldn’t do for him – and if it involves making things go BOOM! that just adds to the fun. Barely an episode goes by without Michael or Sam scolding her for making her explosions a little too big. (Michael: “Fiona, you were supposed to stop the car, not blow it into the Everglades! What happened to shorting the ignition?” Fi: “You said disable; it’s not going anywhere.” Or this – Fi: [setting up C4 in a boat] “You want this big, right?” Michael: “Just enough for the boat, Fi. Try not to break all the windows in South Beach.”)

She’s a woman who will taser herself as well as the man she’s wrangling  if it’s the only way to bring him in. And then, when asked if she’s okay, say “Everyone could use a few thousand volts from time to time. It clears the mind.”

If you haven’t already got the picture, perhaps this line sums up her up as well as anything can: “Well, in my experience, if something is too good to be true, it’s best to shoot it. Just in case.”

The world is a better place for having Fi in it. Well, a better and slightly singed place anyway.

Posted by Jo the Hat


Filed under Kick ass women

2 responses to “Kick ass women: Fiona Glenanne

  1. marzillk

    I hope Fi hasn’t noticed the oversight, or you might find yourself duct-taped to a chair, Ms The Hat! As Sam said to Michael in the episode I just watched, on using Fi as the scariest thing in an interrogation situation, “Fiona’s the Hammer.”

    As we were discussing on Twitter, I have a massive girl-crush on Fi. I love that she’s completely fearless, except when it comes to Michael’s safety, that she always carries C4 in her car, and that she’s like a kid in a candy store when a plan means that something needs blowing up.

    Perhaps surprisingly for an ex-IRA bomber (dear US programme makers, the IRA are not a cuddly group of freedom fighters), she is Michael’s moral compass, and will occasionally haul off and thump him if he’s getting into something really shady. Their relationship is complicated (the writer said “I know people with relationships like that. They sleep together all the time and it NEVER helps”) but they care for each other.

    Now, how about Maddy Westen for the next Kick Ass Woman…?

  2. Fiona never gets that much credit imo. Great article. You summed her up perfectly 😊

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