(Series 7, Ep.9) If doctors make the worst patients, then surely teachers make the worst pupils. Has Chris Mead not learned anything, either from his own life or anyone else’s? Look at the mess he got into trying to help out Vicki when she was pole dancing. Look at the mess Cesca Montoya got into when she confiscated drugs and didn’t tell anyone. Look at how cross Karen got with him for not sharing his concerns over the mysterious Evie.
But he’s got a heart of gold, has our Chris. If we hadn’t seen the inside of his flat for ourselves, when Jess was trying to re-seduce him, I would picture it stuffed full of stray kittens and other unwanted pets. He’s one of life’s born rescuers. This week he tried to rescue Josie “Scout” Allen, she of the unwashed hair and aptitude for maths. It turns out that the unwashed hair etc (but probably not the aptitude for maths) is because she lives with a feckless lump of a mother who is happy for her to supplement the family income by being a drugs courier. And having a paper round.
Let’s face it, there’s not many teachers would glue your shoes for you. Chris got Scout sorted out with a nice clean Waterloo Road uniform, courtesy of the lost property box, fixed her falling-apart shoes and even provided her with a nice little bag of toiletries so she could get that nasty hair washed. In the changing rooms, and not in the school canteen, where he’d caught her trying to wash her armpits earlier (ugh! Wisest to stick to packed lunches if you go to WR).
He even made sure that, when the police and a sniffer dog arrived following a tip-off by Eleanor Chaudry, the drugs he’d confiscated from Scout ended up in his pocket. Alas, sniffer dogs aren’t bedazzled by a cheap suit, a lovely hairstyle and a sincere face, and they can spot a Class B drug when they sniff one. “There must be some mistake,” Karen said. “This is my Deputy Head!” The dog ignored her pleas, but the police let Chris go after a talking-to. Karen, however, is not so lenient, and she gave him her best Disappointed In You speech. Then she suspended him. He didn’t even have time to say “Don’t do dis!” and he was out.
Meanwhile, we learned that the Scotcher family motto is “We Do the Right Thing.” In Aiden’s case it means publicly humiliating at least one of the girls he’s made pregnant. Jess was supposed to be keeping her “condition” on the down-low, but that lasted for about five minutes. After a spot of counselling from Karen (who was taking time out from worrying about being a Failing Head) Jess realised that you shouldn’t let a mister come between you and your sister, and she and Vicki made friends again. What fun they’ll have at antenatal classes together! Or maybe not, as next week’s preview indicated (I’m getting fed up with how much they give away in these previews).
Will Tom Clarkson throw water over Eleanor Chaudry when he realises that she’s been selling Waterloo Road down the river to the smarmy man from the local authority? Yes, the ugly truth is that Ms Chaudry has become the latest in a long, long line of women who find Tom Clarkson irresistible, but is it the first time he’s snogged a former Young Conservative?
Next time: Scout’s still causing problems for Chris. Eleanor’s still causing problems for Karen but possibly regretting it. And there are baby problems.
Posted by PLA (more Waterloo Road here)