True Blood 312: Cementing its reputation

I'm gonna stay here till season 4, okay?

A brief survey of the several million True Blood fan-sites reveals that most viewers were disappointed by this season finale, ending as it did with more cliff-hangers than a very big cliff-wardrobe. Certainly some of the pacing and denouements were rather odd. However, there was also plenty to enjoy in an episode in which Maxine Fortenberry described Jessica as that ‘red-headed dead girl’. So let’s examine the good bits first, before going all mean and critical.

Tension over who will burn, baby, burn – It was an exciting start. How Eric would get out of the frying pan and into the dark cool indoors? Inevitably Sookie rescued him. Goodness only knows how these vampires managed their affairs for so many centuries without good ol’ Sook bursting in to sort them out.

That double-crossing Bill – In one of the most shocking True Blood scenes ever, and lord knows that’s a list and a half, Bill shook Eric’s hand after helping him bury Russell alive. Then he hurled Eric to the ground and turned the cement machine thingy onto him too, dammit! You very very bad man, Bill.

Qwerty is proved right! – When Eric escaped from the cement, thanks to kick-ass Pam, he went right round to Sookie’s to tell tales. And what he told her is what I had already worked a couple of weeks ago, viz. that Bill deliberately got her into bother with the stage-baddie Rattrays (boo!) so he could feed her his blood and thus permanently tie her to him. Well it just goes to show, doesn’t it? Never trust handsome dark dead men.

Old but funny inbred clichés – In Hotshot one of the poor skinny boys referred to Crusty Crystal’s father as ‘Uncle Dad Calvin.’

Sookie’s one-liners – Particularly, ‘You watch your fucking language’ to Russell, and ‘I’m basically vampire crack’ to all the vampires.

Good to see ya back (1) – Always nice to see the lovely Godric, even if just in Eric’s visions. How disappointed Eric made poor Godric. Nearly as disappointed as all the fanboys annoyed about the trailing plot-threads.

Un-mourned death of the week- Crusty’s brother/fiancé Felton killed Uncle Dad Calvin instead of Jason, because Jason is one of the stars and his contract has him in it for the long-haul. Poor old UDC lay in a pool of blood while everyone bickered and quite forgot about him. He sure was funny-looking.

Good to see ya back (2) – Nice to see Alcide mooning over Sookie again. Surely they must have a little moment next season? Mind you, whenever he appears I worry that sow Debbie’s going to pop up, so maybe he should just clear out for a while.

It's a laugh a minute on the True Blood set

Sweet couple of the week – An award won yet again by Jessica and Hoyt, the only possible contenders in fact, who moved in together. Slightly prematurely perhaps, but who could resist Hoyt explaining how he was going to marry her and  make her the best underground hidey-hole ever? That’s romance, that is.

Alas, some of the episode wasn’t up to TB’s usual high standards. Longeurs, naff bits, out-of-character behaviour and downright clunkers:

  • Jason suddenly having to step up and take charge of Hotshot. Like, er, why?
  • Jason’s continuing and increasingly mysterious passion for Crusty. Like, er, why?
  • Tara’s reaction to Sam revealing his shape-shifting. I know she’s been through a lot, but Sam is an old mate and deserved better. Also he had just made her tasty pancakes. Bad Tara.
  • Tara cutting off her hair to start a new life in a cliché that was old back in Rapunzel’s day.
  • Tara being mean to Andy and making him cry. Poor Andy. Bad Tara.
  • The oddly slow scenes between Sookie and Russell, once the latter was tied to a pole.
  • Sookie cackling with laughter as she hurled Talbot’s remains down the garbage disposal. Both the act and the laughter were completely out of character.
  • Lettie-Mae being histrionic again. Though in her defence I did like the way she buttoned her blouse up wrong after being caught, er, chatting to the preacher man.
  • Maxine and Summer’s intervention on Hoyt, which was super-clunky.
  • Sam shooting at Tommy because he’d nicked some money. Sam went to all that trouble to rescue Tommy, then days later he sacked him, threw him out of his house, and fired a gun at him. Sam’s flaky enough without making him behave so weirdly.

Loose ends and educated guesses for Season 4:

  • Sookie’s been swept off by the fairies to that rather dull lake-setting where Duran Duran filmed some of their videos. Won’t she get bored? She likes a bit of the dark, does Sookie.
  • Who will win the fight between Bill and Sophie-Ann? She’s not really dressed for a punch-up, and Bill’s got nothing more to lose. But Sophie-Ann triggered the entire True Blood franchise by her interest in Sookie, so she’s probably a teensy bit cross about how it’s all worked out.
  • What exactly is Maxine going to do with that rifle? (Answer: Someone will get hurt but it won’t be Jessica.)
  • What exactly has Sam done with that gun? (Answer: not killed Tommy.)
  • Will Tara ever come back to Bon Temps? (Answer: yes. When she stops being embarrassed about her lousy haircut.)
  • What will Russell do when he gets out of that cement grave? (Answer: be a bit narked and tell some people off.)
  • Will Eric make eyes at Sookie again? (Yes.)
  • Will Alcide make eyes at Sookie again? (Yes.)
  • Will Bill make eyes at Sookie again? (Yes.)
  • What has Sookie got that I haven’t? (She is a fairy. Also young, pert and blonde.)

Bring it on: I’m ready for Season 4.

Posted by Qwerty


Filed under True Blood

2 responses to “True Blood 312: Cementing its reputation

  1. Tim

    It was a bit of an odd finale, what with all the cliffhangers and all the dangling threads to be picked up next season. It didn’t really feel like a season finale at all, although TB has always tended to wrap up its main story arcs quite early in the finale to start setting things up for the next season.

    I agree about Sookie being out of character in disposing of Talbot’s remains – that felt very artificial.

    On my wish-list for season 4:
    – More Hoyt and Jessica.
    – More VRA fall-out.
    – More Terry and Arlene (although I fear their season 4 arc will be all about Rene’s baby – yawn).
    – Less Bill. Less Sookie. Less Tara. No Crystal. No more bizarre V mind trips.
    – One storyline for Jason, not a succession of filler. Bullets in everyone’s head. I’m going to be a cop. Crystal. The running feud with Kitch. Life was so much easier when he was busy shagging anything with two X chromosomes that moved.

  2. inkface

    I’m sorry, but Tara post-haircut looked like Andy Pandy.