True Blood 309: Now time for the weather… Tiffany?

Episode of the series! I know I’ve probably given this accolade to other episodes already, but this really was a corker.

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The very best scene of all, ever – and I mean in the history of television, not just True Blood – starred the crazed love-sick Russell bursting into a tv studio to interrupt a vampire rights discussion with a little light spine removal. Nan Flanagan, stopped in her tracks mid-bite (ooh, the hypocrite pretending she subsists on Tru Blood), could only watch in horrified agogness as Russell gleefully undid the vampire PR work of decades. To stunned silence, he finished off his murderous tour de force with the grandstanding: ‘We will EAT YOU, after we EAT YOUR CHILDREN. Now time for the weather… Tiffany?’

You gotta love Russell, even if he is carrying round his dead lover’s entrails in a see-through urn and declaring war on humanity. I don’t remember that being one of the stages of bereavement from Psych 101 but hey, whatever gets you through. As an aside, I just want to note how many of the True Blood baddies are also eco-warriors. Russell, banging on about SUVs and unnecessary flights, reminded me of Amy, Jason’s late girlfriend. She also thought that recycling cardboard cancelled out her murdering and drug-abusing. It only makes me love the TB writers more that they have noticed how often a professed love of the environment goes hand-in-hand with appalling behaviour.

Almost as wonderful as Russell was the abrupt return of Franklin, as predicted by me. I just knew that having his head bashed to a pulp wasn’t enough to kill him, but this time he had only a few minutes to menace Tara before Jason pointed a gun at him. Franklin made the mistake we’ve all made, lord knows, of treating Jason as a dimbo.

Franklin: ‘You know I’m a vampire and shooting me won’t work.’

Jason fires gun, BLAM, and Franklin erupts in a geyser of blood and yuck.

Jason, calmly lowering gun: ‘It will if ah use wooden bullets.’

Damn you Eric, you look cuter in black than I do.

All the business with Eric and Pam versus horrible leather-clad Nan Flanagan and the shadowy ‘Authority’ was just marvellous. Pam and Eric’s affection for each other was sweet, and Eric being rattled was really exciting. Eric looking brooding and worried was also exciting. Eric being on screen so much, let’s face it, was exciting.

Whereas Bill and Sookie being back together was nice, I guess, even though their sexy shower together was a bit gross, involving as it did considerably more blood flowing down the plughole than soap or semen. Sookie seemed remarkably matter of fact this week, hurling dead bodies confidently around, and calmly pointing out to Bill that keeping a file on her was creepy. Er, yeah, just a bit. It became clear to me this week, though it’s probably been clear to you for aeons, that Bill meeting Sookie was no accident and that he’d been sent to find her on command from Queen Sophie-Ann, who was intrigued by whatever Hadley had told her. Bill now knows what Hadley told her, but we still don’t know. We surely must next week as the suspense has now gone on long enough.

There was a terrific scene between Hoyt and Jessica, where he didn’t even bother to pretend that he liked his pushy new girlfriend: ‘I fucking hate her.’

For all the embarrassment of riches, there were a few saggy bits:

Sam beating up Crystal’s father was too out of character. I know he was doing it because Tommy taunted him that he got pushed around by everyone, but I felt Sam wouldn’t have bothered about what Tommy says. It was one of those rare moments that TB seemed to be more plot than character driven. Lose 5 points, TB.

The whole Crystal/creepy family/Jason bravado story-line is now officially boring. I don’t like Crystal and don’t care really what’s going on over there.

Arlene is always wonderful, but both her and Tara falling under the spell of the creepy Holly was a bit dull.

Nonetheless, with so much else being completely top telly, and not to mention poor Sherrif Andy’s plaintive ‘I’ve got an ulcer so big I’ve got coffee coming out my belly button,’ I can easily overlook the slack bits. It’s now officially almost too exciting to bear!

So many questions remain.

  • What is Sookie? It’s no good her insisting she’s a waitress; we’re not buying it any more. Apart from anything else she hasn’t been near a plate of grits since episode four in the first series.
  • When will Russell and Eric have their final face-off like Travolta and Cage? Kaboom! Kapow!
  • Who/what is the Authority, and what are they GOING TO DO now Russell’s killed a TV anchorman?
  • Why is Nan Flanagan so important?
  • When will we find out how Eric came to be Pam’s maker?
  • Can we trust Bill?
  • When will the annoying Tommy be shunted off this mortal coil?
  • When will Terry get more screen time?
  • When can I watch the next episode??

Posted by Qwerty

1 Comment

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One response to “True Blood 309: Now time for the weather… Tiffany?

  1. Tim

    An excellent episode.

    Anger is the second stage of grief – and, boy, is Russell angry! It’s been too long since we had the VRA take centre stage and give us the opportunity to mock the human world the way Russell does. A welcome return.

    Russell vs Eric? Travolta vs Cage? Rocky vs Clubber Lang? Kramer vs Kramer? More Fang-Off than Face-Off?

    Agree with you about Tommy and Crystal. For all I care, they can star in an alternative movie called F***-Off. Very bored of both those plots, which are just going nowhere fast. (Watch now as they explode into brilliance next week now I’ve said that.)

    Loved Franklin’s demise. And Jessica and Hoyt are so sweet. But what should we call then? Hoyca? Jessoyt? And now, the shipping forecast …