True Blood 308: Cry me a river

Gene Simmons says I can jam with the band

Everyone cried buckets in this episode. It was a mass waterworks, or in some cases, bloodworks. Bill started it when Sookie broke up with him. As ground for the split she could have cited her hospitalisation owing to him having drained her entire blood supply, but focused instead on them not being a normal couple. Well, yeah Sook: he’s dead. Sookie’s eyes also ran with tears, but who noticed them when Bill cried so much blood he resembled a member of Kiss?

Sookie snivelled again later when Alcide had to go off and be manly somewhere else. They nearly kissed but they are both too upright and anyway they both have a fatal taste for the poignant. So off he went, leaving Sookie to defend her much-attacked home by herself.

Then Jessica joined in the weep-fest. It was sweet the way she threw her arms round Bill, then she lost it when he said he would release her. ‘I – sob – don’t – sniff – want you to!’ she wailed. Bill finally agreed she could stick around, but insisted she learn techniques to see off baddies. They had a terrific practice fight session which made one feel they were really bonding in father-daughter-slo-mo-Matrix style. Though I guess not all fathers insist their girls pick up street smarts to help them track down and scoff werewolves.

The only moment when no-one was crying

Tara wasn’t crying, but she was staring straight ahead of her in traumatised fashion. I wasn’t sure if it was because of all she had been through with Franklin, or because Lafayette was giving her a foot massage. She soon got her act together for some girl-talk with Sookie. One minute they were holding hands in the sun, reminiscing about all the people they’ve known who’ve died lately (this took a while); the next she was chastising Sookie for her soppy adherence to Bill, love and country music: ‘At the end of those songs those dumb bitches always end up dead.’

As Arlene said of Tara later, ‘She’s all bark and, well, she bites too.’

Crystal spent quite a lot of time crying, out of her non-blacked eye. The rest of the time she said things like, ‘I need your truck’ and was generally mysterious and annoying in a trailer trash way. Jason went lunk-headedly off to sort out her redneck family, but they are obviously weirder and scarier than he suspects, bless his daffy little brain.

Talbot nearly cried when Russell moved Queen Sophie-Anne into their lovely mansion. He and Russell had their worst (and as it turned out, final) fight, with Talbot petulantly smashing Russell’s treasures around the room. Then Eric smoothly interceded, offering to keep Talbot ‘company’ (eg man-on-man action), while Russell went off Sookie-hunting. Russell gave Eric a brief interrogation as to whether he could trust him, but Eric went all meaningful and ring-kissy and even betrayed poor Godric by calling him ‘weak’, though you could see him wince as he said it. Eric said, ‘I’ve searched for you for a thousand years,’ which Russell took as a compliment but which we knew meant Eric’s day of vengeance was a-coming. I wasn’t minded to call out at the telly and warn Russell because I like Eric, and Russell can probably look after himself. Though if I’d known what was in store for the lovely Talbot I might have shouted a bit.

Eric sent Hadley to Sookie’s house to warn her that not only was Russell on his way, but that she shouldn’t trust Bill. I was more disturbed by the significance of this second part of the message than Sookie was: Eric is many things but he isn’t a liar. If he says Bill isn’t to be trusted I suspect he isn’t. Still, Bill and Jessica did turn up to help Sookie fight horrible Debbie and the other werewolves. My favourite bit was when Jessica did a little wave at the werewolf, all teenage and cute, then swished out her fangs and scared the crap out of the dog.

Talking of dogs, even tough nut Tommy cried in this episode, when Sam saw his trashy mama off the premises. Though it wasn’t long before he was squaring up to much bigger people in Merlottes, such as Hoyt, and Crystal’s lunatic relatives, making Sam regret he’d ever set his puppy eyes on him.

Just as Russell was about to finish Bill off in Sookie’s garden (the garden now being as trashed as the inside), Eric staked poor Talbot through the heart mid-shag. Feeling it through every fibre of his being, Russell wailed ‘Talllllbot!’ and disappeared. We didn’t see him cry but I’m sure he was a bit. Bill and Sookie lost no time in having the wildest make-up sex since, well, the last time they had make-up sex. But watching them, amongst the blood and debris of poor old Gran’s house, one couldn’t help but think, it will all end in tears.

Posted by Qwerty

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One response to “True Blood 308: Cry me a river

  1. Tim

    It will all end in tears … or, at least, splinters.

    It really felt like we moved forward in many of the different plot-lines, as well as (I think) starting to develop some of the threads for next season. Alas poor Talbot – he whined a lot but he was funny. And it’s always fun to see Jessica. The reappearance of Rene, albeit only in a dream, was a bit spooky though.

    Very hopeful that we are building up towards a cracking finale now, after a few meh transitional episodes this season.

    If you’ll forgive a quick plug, here are a few more of my thoughts over at Unpopcult, where I’ve just done a guest review of this episode: