After the behind-a-cushion cringe-fest of last week’s ‘Grilled Cheesus’ (which traumatised me too much to review), this week’s Glee was a cracking return to form. There was even a lesbian kiss, always a joy. As in all the best episodes, the plot was wafer-thin. They had to perform duets to win a meal at the excellent-sounding Breadstix restaurant (where, Santana explained, ‘they are legally obliged to keep bringing you breadsticks’). I think a Breadstix would do well in Brighton. Anyway, as there was no story I will just bring you some highs and lows.
The songs – At last, some decent tunes: a marvellous Mercedes/Santana River Deep – Mountain High, which is so obviously a Glee-type song you wonder what took them so long. Gotta love Santana’s jazz hands. And I thought Tina and Mike’s duet, in which he spoke his words like Rex Harrison, worked really well. But these all paled into insignificance next to…
…Kurt and Rachel together – at last! The moment fans of high-end camp have been waiting for. All gimmicks shoved aside, Kurt and Rachel perched on high stools and ripped into the Streisand/Garland mash-up with great verve. Channelling his inner Judy – actually never very far from the surface – Kurt looked more relaxed than ever before. And this was easily Rachel’s least annoying Barbra impersonation. Marvellous! Mr Qwerty, who is just gay enough, leaped from his seat applauding.
That kiss – Wearing their cheerleaders’ outfits, Brittany and Santana twined together on the bed. ‘Ahh,’ sighed Brittany happily, ‘Sweet lady kisses.’
The tough jocks having read my previous post – As they chucked a slushie in Sam’s face, the tough jocks called him ‘Lady Lips’: clearly a reference from my post a few weeks ago, in which I marvelled at Chord Overstreet’s name and girl’s mouth. No charge guys, glad you could use it.
Brittany’s seduction technique – Brittany tenderly picked Artie up and laid him on the bed. She sure is a strong lass. I’m sure a large number of chaps (and ladies) would have swapped places with Artie at this point. Later, wistfully outlining her plan for their meal at Breadstix, if only they’d won: ‘I was going to order us one really, really long piece of spaghetti like in Lady and the Tramp. I’ve been practicing nudging the meatball across the table with my nose.’ For an extra treat, we actually did get to see Britts, eating alone, nose-nudging the meatball. She is a total scene-stealer.
Tina growing a pair – I very much enjoyed Tina yelling at Mike about their crap dim sum dates with his mother, then rolling her eyes when he suggested they go to Asian couples counselling. ‘Why does the couples counsellor have to be Asian?’ I like Tina more and more.
Rachel’s latest personality change – Rachel’s random behaviour this week was deciding to throw the competition for the sake of the team. Er, what? No way would Rachel ever perform at anything less than her desperate best. Which brings me to…
Puzzle of the week 1 – Although Finn and Rachel’s duet of With You I’m Born Again was grim, it was no worse than many songs we’ve been asked to admire. But everyone found it offensive and ‘rude.’ I was utterly perplexed, till I looked up a plot summary (a rather brief document), and discovered it was because Finn was dressed as a priest and Rachel as a schoolgirl. This visual gag was lost on me, because Rachel is always dressed as a schoolgirl.
Puzzle of the week 2 – Glee is sponsored by a hair colour thing. All these weeks I have idly been absorbing their slogan, ‘If you’ve got the attitude we’ve got the colour.’ Then suddenly this week I sat up and cried, ‘By jings, I have absolutely no idea what that means.’
Thing I’m worrying about
- In Breadstix, Aryan winners Sam and Quinn were bonding so nicely, she put the voucher away and told him he should pay for her as that’s what a gentleman does on a date. Apart from the staggering sexism, I was worried Sam might not have enough money.
- That Puck won’t be coming back. Sam has nice pecs but he looks so young I cover my eyes whenever he disrobes. Whereas Puck is clearly about 35 and fair game.
- Where was Sue ? Hiding in a bunker I guess, plotting her next dastardly move.
- Who the hell watches Tool Academy, which is trailed heavily in the ad breaks and which looks to be the biggest pile of crap the world has ever seen.
Posted by Qwerty