I do think Ant’n’Dec (one word) are comedy gold. Ok, perhaps just the silver lining on I’m a Celebrity. Although this comment does come with a caution: I’m a woman incarcerated at home with small children, so lately my standards have slipped. I’m not painting any town red right now; watching it dry would be enough of a delight (just Farrow & Ball though. I have me pride). Root canal with an arthritic Dentist? Ooh, lovely day out.
I usually record I’m a Celeb and fast-forward past the slow-swallowing of Crocodile Cock Biscuits and onto Ant’n’Dec’s cheeky links. I EVEN know which one is which: Dec is the one with the big, intellectual forehead and Ant is the one who makes the other one look taller. Oh, hang on…
In any case, forgiving their sometime oafish side (‘How drunk were we, Dec, hey, hey’), they are the only hosts I can think of who look as if they are actually having fun — moreover, that television presenting may not altogether define them and their sense of themselves. Tomorrow’s News Headline: ‘Ant’n’Dec Are Actual Man Dolls, size as seen on TV. No, they seem alright.
In any case, for Gordon Ramsay — and any other delusional, potential-jungle-’narstie’ contestants currently experiencing their careers already going Down Under — I have some really quite patronising tips below for you, in case you do attempt to revive your nose-diving fortunes by yes, nose-diving into next year’s programme. I understand these may have been pointed out before in spades, but NOT ONE OF YOU Z-CELEBS SEEM TO TAKE ANY NOTICE. Shouting, sorry.